Eve's Guide for Regular Guys: Episode 18 - Creepiness (special 6-guest episode)

54:38 Eve's Guide For Regular Guys episode 18 / 18 Apr 13, 2018 23 comments 8628 3247

Download (75 MB, MP3)

So many guys are afraid of coming across as creepy. They don't want to approach us, either online or in real life, because of it, and they worry they'll never attract a woman because of their shyness or average looks.

So for this episode, I recruited five female erotic audio performers and one writer to address these concerns, in their own words. (I know I say I'm joined by five ladies, but one of them was a late addition and I didn't have the chance to edit that particular part.)

I asked them to answer the following:

How do you feel about shyness in a man? If someone is a little socially awkward around you, does that affect your impression of him?

How important are the typical manly-man looks to you - does a guy need to have a six pack and a chiseled jaw to be attractive? What are some non-typical looks that you personally like?

How do you feel about this statement: "I don’t have anything going for me, being a ’nice guy’ is all I can offer a woman".

What makes a guy ’creepy’

Any words of advice for a shy guy about how you’d like to be approached, or what turns you on or off about a guy?

Throughout the audio you'll hear:

/u/BadHorsie1970

/u/Belle_in_the_Woods

/u/FranticTumble

/u/NickelSilver (I read her comments for her)

/u/Sweetashoneyy

/u/SweetCarolineKisses

along with my own insights in between the segments.

And because this is a long audio, I thought you might want to skip right to certain questions, so here are the time stamps for each of the questions:

4:40 - what do you think of shyness?

9:50 - How important are looks

22:34 - "Nice guy"

24:54 - what is creepy

43:19 - turn-ons

47:36 - advice

Huge thanks to the amazing ladies who took the time to think about these questions and give their honest opinions.


I welcome your comments and thoughts, but as with all discussion posts, please keep it civil and respectful to me and others. I offer up these audios as food for thought, and I won't enter into prolonged debates or arguments if you happen to disagree. I don't post these audios to provide a platform for everyone else's opinion, especially negative or argumentative ones - if you want that kind of platform, create your own website and go to it. Just enjoy these audios if you do, and move on to something else if you don't. Thanks


Other audios in Eve's Guide For Regular Guys

Comments

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  • Snoopy on 2018-05-05 15:56:54 (UTC)

    Hi, sorry if this is a bit weird but I've been a lurker for about half a year. Both here and on GWA. I am only commenting because what NickelSilver said in this episode really frightened me, about the whole "Nice Guy" thing. Because that statement is one I have on constant repeat in my head. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself, in fact I'd say I have none in nearly all aspects of my life. I do feel like I'm a worthless person so does me thinking that make me creepy? I never talk to girls I don't know about this, I mean not only is that manipulative but what good is that information to anyone? Why would someone buy a DVD player if the seller described the DVD player as worthless? So now I'm really frightened that I am creepy because of how I see myself, despite me trying to bottle it up. I only ever tell my friends about it on rare occasions. Sorry if this is whining. I tried to be concise, I don't want to be like the jerks described in this episode. Also you do great work Eve!

    • A Eve on 2018-05-05 19:50:25 (UTC)

      As much as I hate to hear that you think you're worthless, low self esteem by itself doesn't make you creepy. It's when someone uses it as a way to get close to a girl that we don't like. It can also make you behave in self-deprecating ways, whether you know it or not, that we aren't attracted to necessarily- but it doesn't make you creepy. So don't worry, but please try to build up some self-esteem by exploring things you're passionate about.

  • Matthew on 2018-04-17 16:35:47 (UTC) (edited)

    Somethings i didn't mention the first time round , I found extremely helpful this regular guide because it has gave me me a lot of helpful advice (or as you put it food for thought) especially from a woman's point of view , I am in new territory now my confidence is getting stronger and stronger, day by day, i was in inspired by what one of ladies said when she says i want to get inside of you (as in you mind like lamps) before you get inside me, i really I liked what you said about Keanu Reeves wife it has really made me think. This one of my favorite episodes at the moment thank you so very much

  • Jandrusel on 2018-04-16 14:01:28 (UTC)

    I think there's a vicious cycle of creepiness. We men are aware of the kind of behaviour that can be considered "creepy". But since a lot of us are also shy, or extremely self-conscious, it leads to doubt, second-guessing and missing out on possible women's hints. Like, there could be a naked woman spreading her legs in front of me but my mind would be thinking: "I think she wants sex BUT WHAT IF IT'S JUST MY IMAGINATION AND ONLY WANTS MY FRIENDSHIP". A lot of times you're cautious because, if you take the chance, it may lead to a ruined friendship or something worse. I should know, I'm thick as a brick when it comes to this stuff :P

    I do agree that if you're worried about being a creepy creeper, chances are you're not one. The ladies were truly right on that one. As always, try to be confident, polite, 'nice' (not entitled) and just say 'hi' to that lady. It may not lead to a relationship, but you'll be ahead of those guys that complain and sit around.

    Good episode indeed!

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2018-04-16 05:43:08 (UTC)

    Thank you for assembling this fine panel of guests who've had so many solid points to contribute, in the spirit of helping men everywhere improve themselves. That the nuanced responses of these random women from different places and walks of life continually return to issues of boundaries, disrespect, and entitlement cuts straight to the heart of what true creepiness is. The point about taking the responsibility to self-actualize, instead of burdening another with forging your selfhood, was salient to me - I know I could never be attracted to a woman who's just a blank slate either, or derives her whole self-esteem from my opinion of her. And beyond good grooming I no longer sweat my looks - I've done the people-watching thing and it's obvious everytime that couples come in all shapes and sizes.

    I had a stark example of what real creepiness is when I was burglarized. After the thief smashed my window, s/he stacked the shards in a neat pile just outside. Now that is creepy!

  • tralfamador on 2018-04-14 02:11:39 (UTC)

    I would like to add that the use of "nice guy" as a insult usually is when the niceness is accompanied with the sense of entitlement - as the one woman mentioned this niceness is superficial and can do a complete 180 once the "entitlement" is denied. I would know, I've been there. I think every guy has been there at least once.

    I used to have this idea that certain things women in general thought or acted were unfair or something and should be changed. As I mature I just accept certain general gender differences and outlooks as the way things are and part of the "femininity" that I find attractive. I'm not obligated to conform to their liking 100% and neither are they to conform to mine. We can only change ourselves.

    Always learning, growing and improving, good stuff!

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:45:50 (UTC)

      Thank you! I know that it can be frustrating dealing with the opposite sex sometimes - women too have moments of thinking men's behavior should change. But like you say, the more you mature the more you accept our differences, and look to intention and character more than any specific behavior.

  • tralfamador on 2018-04-14 01:50:50 (UTC)

    Thank you, this was a good one. I've been in countless situations where I've ignored or avoided the topic of sex with someone who was clearly interested in me because I was extremely worried or self conscious of coming across as being to forward or "creepy". So correct me if I'm wrong but it pretty much boils down to this- a). It's fine to mention sex, just don't persist with the topic after she says no or doesn't want to talk about it (consent) b). The whole "it's only creepy if its coming from the wrong person" thing isn't true. Maybe a girl will sort of play along with an attractive sexually aggressive person to avoid confrontation but it's the exact opposite of an attractive quality. c) Women are people (duh!)

    Whew! This audio really made me feel better, I think I've really sold myself short in the past.

    Thanks for all you do and I really liked that you invited guests. This kind of work really impacts society in a positive way.

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:44:28 (UTC)

      I'm so glad you realize that you've sold yourself short! And thank you so much for the praise, I really hope to reach people with things like this, as do all my guests.

  • SamuelXD on 2018-04-14 01:38:50 (UTC)

    I really liked what the guests have said. On being creepy, I have not been told I'm a creep, which is reassuring. Also, since I have a few girl friends, they're open and honest with me and they haven't called me a creep, because I see them as people. I have seen people who have come off as creepy, especially in this forum, leaving very graphic comments and I would cringe. Even though I'm a fairly new member, I've always made a conscious effort to leave respectful and tasteful comments.

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:43:51 (UTC)

      And I really appreciate it! There are a lot of good men out there, far more good men than creeps, and I wanted to make sure they knew it. 😘

  • billymacorbuddy on 2018-04-13 23:40:50 (UTC)

    Thanks for putting this together, Eve. Its always nice to hear different opinions on these kinds of issues. And for the record, I don't hear your cold anymore. You sound lovely as always. :)

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:43:08 (UTC)

      Aww, thanks Billy! 😘

  • Arcturus on 2018-04-13 19:59:14 (UTC)

    Thank you for this episode, it has been very helpful :-)

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:42:53 (UTC)

      You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it xox

  • Matthew on 2018-04-13 19:27:41 (UTC) (edited)

    Creep is not a nice word to describe one self but listening to this regular guys has made everything much clearer, you have ticked all the right boxes with the Q&A i like what one of your guests said about personal remarks sometime can be harmful is that was spot on, I like what BadHorsie1970 said about crowding a woman's space, is very useful info, all you ladies has a great understanding of men and dealing shyness - it does boost ones confidence, I work in a food shop so i see people everyday, and talking to people does help ones confidence as well , once again thanks you ladies for a great insight it's very helpful, (i'm still gonna hanging on in there) one last question feeling attractive and being attractive are they the same or different?

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:42:38 (UTC)

      They are different, of course, some of the most beautiful people in the world don't 'feel' attractive, and vice versa. But it certainly helps with your confidence if you feel attractive, and that's what women like, as you've heard.

  • Dezro125 on 2018-04-13 15:30:45 (UTC)

    Huh, think I might have to look into studying lamps now. Joking aside, excellent episode Eve, I always enjoy another guide and loved hearing from the guests. This one felt very reassuring for some situations happening in my life right now. Thanks Eve and co.

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:41:17 (UTC)

      You're very welcome - I loved the lamps comment too :p

  • Comfortable on 2018-04-13 14:43:24 (UTC)

    Well this helped put my mind at ease about some things. It's always nice to hear that there's women out there that like tall skinny men with big noses. Confidence and self worth is always the tricky part. I think I'm getting there bit by bit, but it's a very slow process. These guides really do help though, I've been inadvertently forming an ever growing do or don't list. Thanks everyone.

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:41:00 (UTC)

      You're welcome, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

  • Scyn on 2018-04-13 13:52:57 (UTC)

    OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG. Thanks Eve & all the Ladies.

    • A Eve on 2018-04-15 19:40:42 (UTC)

      You're welcome!