Eve's Guide for Regular Guys: Episode 13 - Going on a Date

33:16 Eve's Guide For Regular Guys episode 13 / 14 Aug 31, 2017 25 comments 4988 2268

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Dating isn't easy for anyone - everyone is nervous on a first date, and that includes the person you're going out with. Here's some simple advice on how to prepare for a date, what to do and talk about during it, and how to handle the kiss goodnight.

There are so many great advice sites and videos about what to do on a date, so I've just included a few links to some I think you'll enjoy.

Have fun!

To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter

The First Date Survival Guide

10 First Date Tips for Men

Top 10 Things Not to Do On a Date

Under the Covers with Eve Episode 10: Oblivious - Picking Up on Signals from Women


Other audios in Eve's Guide For Regular Guys

Comments

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  • SamuelXD on 2017-09-04 23:05:13 (UTC)

    I first heard this series on Youtube, which lead me to your website. Then, I stumbled upon your Under the Covers series, Sweet Nothings and your Erotic Audio.

    As a 25 year old who has never been in a relationship, the times of not feeling wanted by someone else, not being worthy of love or sex has been frequent (maybe it's because I am an introvert to a fault). However, listening to your Guide For Regular Guys has been eye opening (including the small bouts of weeping... and I don't know why I said that). Sometimes, it is difficult for people to reverse a negative self-image, because we have become used to portray ourselves negatively, to the point it is innate. When someone says we are worthy, we shrug it off, since we are not used to it. To this day, I'm trying to say to myself I am worthy, because if I can't love myself, I can't love another (The Love Guru reference).

    Anyways, what I got from this episode is communication is CRUCIAL, be yourself and chivalry is not dead (This seems so obvious though). Thank you for loving men in a positive, adoring way XD

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 17:41:09 (UTC)

      Aww, that's so sweet, and you're very welcome. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, and it certainly doesn't mean you're unlovable. A lot of women, myself included, prefer quieter, more serious men - sometimes it just takes patience and a consistent belief that you're worthy of it to make it happen. Hang in there 💋

  • Murtaugh83 on 2017-09-04 22:52:02 (UTC) (edited)

    Eve, Thanks for this guide and the series. First dates have proved a real struggle. Even working up the nerve to ask a girl out has always been very hard for me. The second section really hit home So two funny stories to relate comment section, I go to pick up a date and while she is getting ready I had a nice chat with her Gran. In order to be polite and to sort of decompress my nerves. Well, I seemed to have more in common with her. Her granddaughter wasn't so taken with a such a fine strapping fella as was her Gran. Also took a girl out and thought things were going fine. This was back in college, and got the best backhanded compliment I have ever received. "You are kind, bright, stern, steady, sober, industrious but a bit dour and serious for my taste." To which I replied you make me sound like a Victorian Temperance pamphlet like its a bad thing. It was cutting because it was true, I just have to keep looking and your guidance helps a lot.

    Sincerely Mike

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 17:42:21 (UTC)

      hahaha I love every part of that 💋

  • Babybae on 2017-09-03 08:55:55 (UTC)

    Binged this series all day and finally caught up. Big fan of all the Sienfield references. Your a very knowledgeable woman! I have a bunch of questions but could end up with wall of text so simply thank you for all your audio. Your greatly appreciated Eve!

    • A Eve on 2017-09-04 13:19:10 (UTC)

      Thank you, I'm glad you've enjoyed them! And I can't seem to avoid Seinfeld references, they're just so apt most of the time :P

  • billymacorbuddy on 2017-09-02 11:29:21 (UTC)

    Lots of giggles with this guide, I think you could make sketch comedy with some of these scenarios. :P

    Two things. First, I like the idea of getting to know someone before the first date. Whether that be through other social activities or just interaction on the internet, it gets some of the awkward feelings out of the way and you can meet each other with an already established level of comfort. The second thing, and I think it's an overarching theme here, always be a gentleman first. And that goes for any social interaction, really. There will be plenty of time to be a pig, a drunk, or a horn dog later.

    Thanks for this guide Eve. I don't know when I'll go on a date next, but when I do I'll keep your words in mind.

    Oh, one more thing. I just switched out my old George Costanza wallet for a slim one. To be honest, it was hard to get rid of that "tornado of chaos." I might need that discount card to Spatula City!

    • A Eve on 2017-09-02 21:00:49 (UTC)

      haha I was going to mention the George Costanza wallet ("There's more cow here than here!"), but I thought maybe it was too many Seinfeld references.

      Spatula City? Have I missed something cool?

      • billymacorbuddy on 2017-09-02 22:54:54 (UTC)

        You can never have too many Seinfeld references. Spatula City was a reference from Weird Al's UHF. Just a silly little parody. Charlie linked the clip. :)

        • A Eve on 2017-09-04 13:19:52 (UTC)

          I just saw it, that's hilarious. The trouble they went to, considering it was 1989 - even putting up a highway billboard sign. :)

    • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-09-02 13:57:49 (UTC)

      You've touched the two underlying threads to successful dating I've seen too in all the valid advice I've read now and over the years: establishing good communication and rapport, and the importance of making a great first impression (cufflinks not required!)

      Haha, Spatula City! That was me too back in my university days, not the credit cards that mired so many of my peers in personal finance hell, but those loyalty stamp voucher cards to get free coffee, doughnuts, etc. Yesterday I got one for a free slice of pizza at a joint near my workplace; I might actually fill that one up someday. :P

  • netsroht on 2017-09-01 09:04:12 (UTC)

    Thank you Eve for your point of view. If there would be more women like you, it would be easier for us guys. ;-)

    There are some things Id like to add to that topic. After a very long relationship I threw myself out in the dating market again. Usually you are very nervous about what happens or not happens on a date, like you said. So, what are you doing in that case, in the society we are living in? I for example asked Mr. Google about it. Big Mistake! I got overwhelmed with thoughts, things to do or not, tips and tricks. And all that information about when to kiss or when to have sex with the one you are dating, just made it worse. I think your guide IS definately enough for beeing "prepared".

    Actions speak louder than words! Words still are nice, but in my opinion, when you feel like doing something - do it - because there is a point of no return (I hope ill be able to just do it next time). A point where it comes to the decision "Lover or friend?". I didnt have the guts to do that, and after 5 dates with one woman, that I still really like, I got friendzoned. I know there was something, but I couldnt use it and that feeling just sucks.

    It is important to be yourself, but in some situations it is more important to be the one you need to be (in a appropriate way of course).

    Finally I suggest to everybody to listen to some relaxing audio, maybe with some "sucky fucky" included, when youre heading to a date. It helped me to calm down very much.

    • Georgio36 on 2017-09-02 03:02:57 (UTC)

      Aww I'm sorry that happened with the girl you liked man. Sometimes we think we are doing all the right things to get someone, only to find out it wasn't enough. You shouldn't feel bad. Why? Because you treated her with respect & you did your best to show her you liked her. 5 dates was proof of that.

      The best thing you can do is to respect her wishes if she just want to be friends. One thing you can do when you meet a woman you really like, & you two are having great conversations, is to ask her is she looking for a relationship. Ask her is she talking to someone. I say that cuz sometimes a woman can be single yet talking to other guys. Maybe this woman you liked wasn't looking for anything serious right now. That's why if you ask those questions early on.

      You will save you & her a lot of time. Realize that this is just one lady. She may not appreciate what you are doing for her but another woman will. This is not the end. This woman just made room for the right woman to find you. Trust me she will & you will have better opportunities to find her.

      So for me, pick yourself back up, & say "you know what I tried & I consider this a learning experience" The more you try the better you get. Keep your head up man & never say never 😊🌟

      • netsroht on 2017-09-02 08:36:41 (UTC)

        Thank you Georgio! That is a very good advice for the next episode of netsroht's dating dilemma! ;-)

    • A Eve on 2017-09-01 20:47:16 (UTC)

      Aww, thank you! I'm doing my bit, One Cock at a Time™ :P

      I like what you said about being the person you need to be - that's a great point. Doing anything great or life-changing takes courage, and sometimes it means doing something outside your comfort zone.

      Is there definitely no hope with this woman you like? Do you think she decided not to pursue it because you didn't let her know you liked her enough? There might still be hope if that's the case. You can always text her and say that you'd like to see her again, etc.

      • netsroht on 2017-09-02 08:49:04 (UTC)

        "One Cock at a Time" - Some people would say: The more, the better! :-P

        The bad thing about comfort zones is, that theyre just so comfy.

        We still have contact and hope dies last. Friendship is a relationship too. So I didnt waste time at all, didnt lose anything, I even won. And there are plenty of examples, that this can be a foundation for beeing more than just friends.

        • A Eve on 2017-09-02 21:05:02 (UTC)

          Well I'm very glad to hear that you feel good about things, as you said, you never know where it might lead. :P (and I'm a one-cock-at-a-time kinda gal :P)

  • Georgio36 on 2017-09-01 04:30:36 (UTC) (edited)

    Eve you had such wonderful dating tips here. A lot of these I had to find out the hard way or didn't know at all especially when I first started dating. It was very scary for me especially cuz you know how I can be sensitive, a bit emotional. So you wonder how the person will accept you once they really get to know you. Hearing these words from you makes me feel better. One thing about you that I like is your ability to make a guy feel comfortable. To me that's such an admirable quality that I appreciate & look for in a woman especially on a first date. One thing I like to do way before the first date is to at least have a few phone conversations & messages with the lady. That way we kinda know a little about each other & you won't feel as nervous when you do meet up.

    I usually compliment a lady on her personality or style. I compliment her on things that deserve compliments. If I have to compliment her on her looks I usually would compliment her on something like her hair or outfit. Maybe her perfume if she smells great. Also I'll definitely keep in mind what you say about calling a woman pretty. I feel like everyone uses the word beautiful or gorgeous when they compliment a woman so I try be different.

    On the first date the last thing on my mind is sex. I rather wait for a woman to bring that up. Paying attention to a woman actions certainly helps. I may or may not kiss on the first date. It depends on if she gets closer to me or touches me or some obvious sign lol. I be trying to see if I can see myself hanging out with this woman in the future. I think going somewhere casual like getting appetizers & going on for a walk on the boardwalk is a fun date or even an arcade or bowling. I appreciate you trying help us. Also it's important that we pay attention to the person who puts the most effort into trying to be with us. May God Bless you Eve & sorry for the long comment. At least you know I heard the whole audio lol 😄🌷

    • A Eve on 2017-09-01 20:44:26 (UTC)

      haha that's awesome, I'm glad you did! I think your suggestion of a few phone calls first is a great idea, the lowly phone tends to get a bit ignored these days in favour of texting and email/messaging, but hearing someone's voice can be a real icebreaker.

      • Georgio36 on 2017-09-02 03:07:56 (UTC)

        Exactly! I'm very big on phone calls. I actually prefer them over a text. Just hearing a person who cares for you voice in my opinion can easily brighten up your day. Also you can pickup on their moods. I like texts with love notes or funny pictures. But for a real conversation, I wanna hear the person voice. Either way, we are all in this to get better 😊

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-09-01 03:08:19 (UTC)

    It's like you say, there is a wealth of dating advice out there, a lot of it good, some not so much, and this Episode of your series is a great primer packed with solid, well-researched advice that will help prospective daters parse out the gold from the dross. Red flags for the bad advice: if it comes from a tactical field manual written by an exponent of the seduction/pickup artist community (pretty obvious) or if they promise to tell you more if you buy their book detailing their miraculous fail-safe system, do not use on your date, guys! I would bet that that erroneous Three-Day-Rule you mention comes from the Manosphere, in which their rationale is that you wait before getting back in touch so you don't appear desperate and, heaven forbid, less-than-Alpha-male to your date.

    I wholly agree with the premise that a date should be about having a relaxed, feel-good time for both people, and we've already explored this plenty in your erotic audios where you often combine your great sense of humour with the eroticism, so the mood is fun and enjoyable. I like how your advice always builds on things we've already discussed in your Guide: in an earlier episode, for example, you mentioned Meetups where getting to know each other better is a natural progression whenever a topic or activity of passionate interest is identified, without any pressure or expectation.

    Haha, and guys, a much better time to inhale your meal would be if the object of your fancy prepared it for you just to show off her culinary chops, hint hint. In that case, as ever, don't reach for the condiments before your first taste, and lick your plate clean to show her you're not a man who lets good things go to waste! 😉

    Eve, your Guide ostensibly helps guys, but I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who are unknowingly indebted to you because you've played a part in helping their man develop into the best version of himself. 🥇

    • A Eve on 2017-09-01 20:43:15 (UTC)

      haha that image of licking the plate clean...wow! :P Thanks Charlie! 💋

    • Georgio36 on 2017-09-01 04:36:51 (UTC)

      Amen to your comment Charlie. You have great points as usual. I'm definitely sure Eve has helped a lot women too by making us men better like you say. Your words prove why me are so blessed to have Eve & this site. Have a great weekend man 😊🌟

      • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-09-01 10:37:19 (UTC)

        Thanks Georgio, and may your weekend be free of rainy storms. ☀️☀️☀️ I almost can't believe it's September already.

        • Georgio36 on 2017-09-01 13:53:06 (UTC)

          I appreciate that man & so far the storms have passed by. Just hoping everyone can recover. This month flew by fast but it felt like it was forever. I'm ready for September so we can get a brand new start. Take care man 😊