Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 34: The Male Gaze

32:58 Under the Covers with Eve episode 34 / 34 Nov 10, 2016 60 comments 9913 1760

Download (45 MB, MP3)

In this episode I discuss the Male Gaze - where it comes from, what it might mean, and the only two situations in which it might need to be self-controlled.

Links mentioned in this episode:

Wikipedia: The Male Gaze

Cosmo’s double standards

Simone Biles on the beach

Playgirl Magazine

The Estrus Cycle

My audio explaining periods


Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve

Comments

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  • Darx on 2018-03-28 04:33:20 (UTC)

    I'm glad I've never been with anyone who has used one of those viscosity tests you mentioned. I do not know that I could resist the urge to look at the test, look at the box, look back at the test, look up at her and say "This here says you're a quart low."

    • A Eve on 2018-03-29 12:00:05 (UTC)

      hahaha what? When did I say 'viscosity test'?

  • Victor on 2017-09-21 01:00:31 (UTC)

    Eve, can you also do a episode about dealing with the loss of a loved one? Soon it'll be the 3-year "anniversary" since I lost my fiancee of 2 years, and even after such a long time the experience of losing her screwed me up, as in I judge constantly the behaviour of women which qualify as girlfriend material, recently I think I got one envious when I told her in a casual discussion about her and then told her that I see some of my late fiancee's good things in her. It's been nearly 3 weeks since she talked to me after this happened and realised far too late that I acted needy. I'm trying my best to not care, otherwise it takes up too much of my focus, but I just can't help it, especially in this time period. It isn't something that I can get over easily either, because the relationship was really amazing, as in she made me feel emotionally secure, she motivated me to do a lot of good things for myself, the sex was always really intense in a passionate way, she played the violin, also danced on latino music; in essence even if I tried I would have not had such a lucky strike. She also lost her virginity to me, just to understand how deep the attachment went, and listening through some audio files from your site immediately transport me back to those days. She had this suave voice, which became downright hypnotic, as in you could feel the voice vibrate within you during the times she put effort into being seducing. In those moments she always sounded exactly like you did in "Ain't too proud to beg", except the fact that she had a really hot irish accent. The fact that her mother, who was a stern Catholic traditionalist accepted me (me being a non-practicing Jew) was a big deal, not only because, as you can imagine, thinking of having your daughter deflowered by a fuck knows who triggers a form of horror mixed with anger, plus that she had a severe disability, which I'm not going to say which exactly because those who read this will realise who I am, but in essence she would have been dependent on me forever. I was ok with it, in fact that's one thing that pushed me to excel because I knew that I am responsible for someone's weelbeing.

    I'm going to stop now, the torrent of memories keeps coming through, and it doesn't feel great. Please consider it, and keep up the good work, I love the things you do to the point that I wondered, when I discovered your content what the hell was I doing before discovering this.

    • A Eve on 2017-09-23 20:58:02 (UTC)

      I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how painful and difficult it can be. The best advice I can give you is not to set any kind of time limits on yourself for how long it should take to move on. If you're not ready after 3 years, so be it. I think your date may have not wanted to get involved with someone who still has a lot of strong emotions connected to the death of a loved one, and many people may hesitate if they sense that you're not ready to move on. Give yourself time and let whatever happens flow naturally.

      Remember that when dealing with divorce or breakups, those relationships ended, but when dealing with the death of a loved one, that relationship was interrupted in mid stream. It was stopped, rather than it ended, if that makes sense. You need to give yourself time and permission to deal with that. 😘

      • Victor on 2017-10-08 17:30:27 (UTC)

        Hey Eve. Just like you said, I agree that I do not have to set myself a time limit, I never have; what bothered me was that getting over was interfering with a lot of things in my life.

        Quick update to my situation, about the relationship I apparently screwed up, well, now it's definitely over. She borrowed me when I moved away a modest sum of money, something that I appreciated since for some reason none of my bank cards worked, but she contacted me a few days ago and confronted her about me feeling pushed away and ignored in a nice way, not accusing her directly of anything. After giving me several reasons such as distance (of one hour drive, where trains and buses also exist) then instantly started acting like there was never anything between us, ever. Despite telling myself it's more her loss than it is mine, I'd lie to myself if I said I'm not at all affected by what happened, especially because it's such a stupid and cowardly way to break up with someone by saying indirectly you don't give a shit about them anymore.

        • A Eve on 2017-10-10 22:50:23 (UTC)

          Of course you're affected by what happened, it's impossible not to be. You absolutely have to allow yourself to get over this situation before you think about moving on, or assigning any value judgements to yourself over it. Give it time xox

  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-05-08 05:57:54 (UTC)

    Put as you have Eve in this episode Eve,this phenomenon makes perfect sense and I hadn't seen it in this way at all,didn't know it had a special phrase even! Guilty,in a way of falling into that male frame of mind. I think our atheletically built and even the less so but still sports playing ladies are in the group,a small one,of rate beauty which is not commonly most guys feasible reach. Yet the Ms Daly's and Ms Graham's mote so if we are honest, I would consider myself very fortunate to be capable of attracting ladies of similar size and stature. It's a very sorry state of affairs when guys get so worked up over ladies that aren't their.ideal image that can be so damned insensitive!
    If it's at all possible for you to arrange Skype sessions for listeners then I think you may have hit on a good way of keeping discussions very current and up to date. No worries about going out with a topic on time like the Olympics theme on this.It would be down to us guys to be on time fot once, given your huge output of work, could say we owe you that much at least!

    Lea.

  • rockstar97 on 2017-01-09 20:07:53 (UTC)

    ok eve i can tell that you know the secret , the law of attraction but you'd never say , and i want to ask you about it , if i listen to your audios , can i attract a good sex life and relationships , you know like attract like , i hope you answer and share your story

    • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-05-05 08:55:45 (UTC)

      Hey Rockstar,other guys also for that matter,how do you find Ashley Graham? I think she is stunningly beautiful!
      Lea.

    • A Eve on 2017-01-10 16:27:00 (UTC)

      I don't think there's one 'secret', I think human relationships are incredibly complex. But I do think it starts with being sexually positive yourself, and looking for a woman with whom you can enjoy your whole life, not just sex.

      • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-05-05 08:52:48 (UTC)

        Absolutely right Eve,sound advice!
        Lea

  • Hoffman1 on 2017-01-07 01:39:02 (UTC)

    As a Christian, one of the things that I often come across is the topic of lust. And there seems to be a fear of this, or at least a strong desire to avoid lust at all costs, which is of course in the name of morality. Despite the fact that right in the Bible there is a book that literally describes the act of sex, and wanting sex with a partner. It is called The Song of Songs. (For the record don't want to start a creation vs. evolution debate). I feel like there is a general unspoken fear of sex within the church, that shouldn't be there. I've seen guys at work, either avert there eyes, I've also seen a fellow employee who was a believer, move his selling cart because there was an image of a woman in a bra in front of him. The Bible does talk about lust, however at the same time, the church comes at this from a perception that we are all evil and have nothing good to offer anyone. This is absurdly incorrect. but anyway I feel that there is a difference between looking at a woman and appreciating her physical beauty, and lust because God designed her to be the most beautiful thing in all of creation. As far as the feeling of fear that a fair amount of guys have around women is it possible that they are looking for their validation that they didn't find from their dad? When I listen to your audios I feel loved and appreciated, and ithey have helped and are helping me heal a wound that was given in childhood and was reinforced several years ago. going back to this podcast (for a lack of a better term) when we break it down, I think you are right on the money that both men and women want sex, and there's nothing wrong with that desire. I am genuinely curious what your thoughts are on this.

    • A Eve on 2017-01-10 16:25:59 (UTC)

      I think a lot of people miss the obvious emotional connection that sex brings up - I do think a lot of people are hoping to find that unconditional love that our parents should have given us (but many didn't). That's why I personally believe that 'lust' so to speak is really the wrong term for it - most of us aren't just looking to satisfy a carnal need, most of us would like the intimacy and love that goes along with it.

      As for the religious admonitions against lust, that is something I fail to understand as well. I am an atheist, but even I believe that if God made mankind with the desire to reproduce then it doesn't make sense that He would then punish man for doing it. I know of devout Christians who believe sex is okay in marriage, but nowhere else, and perhaps that's an acknowledgement that there should be some regulation to it but that it's fundamentally God's will that people do this. In most cases I see a knee-jerk reaction against sex from a lot of religions, which really goes against the spirit of a loving deity who wants his creations to be happy and fulfilled.

  • KG313 on 2016-12-02 03:53:55 (UTC)

    Hi Eve,

    Very interesting and informative discussion! Thank you!

    I'd like to discuss the second point mentioned about men insulting women. The reasons that some men do this, at least out of a feeling of anger, or hatred, is the same reason that some men (or women) are racist. It reminds me of bullying in school as a child as well. These insulting remarks out of feelings of anger - they are just that - they are expressions of the anger inside of them. Many people carry anger in their hearts, and they will express it at any chance they get, especially when they can be anonymous. It's not necessary towards women, it could be towards themselves, their parents, childhood issues, lack of achievement, etc. Women are just the unfortunate recipients of their angry pasts and unhealed hearts. The anonymity is why it's so prevalent online, but it can also be prevalent in real life where some anonymity is possible. Also, the insulting comments that people post online are not a good representation of how most men feel. This is a very small fraction (probably less than 0.1%) of men that feel this way. Unfortunately, these are the only posts that are seen. The thousands of men that looked at the article or image online and felt no anger, they didn't feel a need to post a comment. So, they're not heard, their comments and thoughts aren't seen.


    Now... as far as men making comments about women's looks to each other. "Ah, she's only a 6", "Would not fuck", etc. this is a different subject entirely. These types of comments between men (I'd say easily in 95% of these cases) are not coming from a place of anger or hatred, as I spoke about above. It is simply men trying to "one up" each other in a type of social behavior that establishes a type of hierarchy and bond between the members. A very common thing between men is to "bust" on each other. What I mean is men joking with each other, in order to figure out the "pecking order" so to speak. These jokes can often be sexual, or sometimes involve making fun of a person for how he looks, or how he acts. These jokes are often sexual or insulting because they're meant to get under your skin, to see how you respond. It's a way that a man can "size up" another man, and see if he's a threat or not, and the best way to deal with him. It is a way men can figure out where they stand. I can give you an example. I worked as a cable guy for 2 or 3 years, and at one point there was a group of about 10 of us around a table just chatting and joking around. One of my coworkers - big guy (alpha male type), walks up behind me and lays his arm on my shoulder - limp with his fist closed, as if he was putting his dick on my shoulder. This is a more extreme example, but proves my point. He did this for two reasons. One, to show the other members of the group that he's still boss, or high on the hierarchy. The second reason was to size me up. These types of things are meant to be offensive to the male it's directed towards. Sometimes they could be blatantly physical, like pushing or shoving, but in almost all cases it's physically non-violent things like this, and done in a joking matter. Men watching situations like this will laugh most likely, and it often can be funny. By the way, this aggressive type of behavior often goes away completely when it's two men talking to each other one on one. In many times it is just due to the social dynamics of a group. But in any case, talking about women in an joking, yet insulting way can fall into this category. Men will say things like this to each other to try to place themselves higher socially within the group. I hope that more women will come to understand this, and know that it's mostly just chest beating within groups of men!

    (Side note, cat calls can fall into this same category of the gorilla chest beat. I'd say that 95% of cat calls are of this type, and the man has no real anger or hatred towards the woman he directs it at.

    Thanks again Eve! I appreciate this stuff you do and hope to hear more!

    • A Eve on 2016-12-02 17:39:33 (UTC)

      Thanks for your insights, I've always been fascinated by how men behave with each other in groups. I knew there was a kind of one-up-manship involved, and that it often spills over into who has the hottest woman (who who thinks he can get the hottest woman). I also figured that some of the pushing and shoving was actually a crude way of expressing affection for a friend, since guys often feel self-conscious about hugging or even telling a friend they care about him.

      • KG313 on 2016-12-02 21:46:17 (UTC) (edited)

        You're completely right! Between friends, most pushing and shoving is done in an affectionate sort of way. In the story I told, I was pretty new at the job - they didn't know me that well. Guys may joke about who has the hottest woman, but I think that's more of a tounge-in cheek joking kind of way. I think guys realize that love is a big component of it, and since most men love their girlfriends/wives, they sort of lay off the subject or not really mention it.

  • ahmedbashar948 on 2016-12-01 19:05:57 (UTC)

    I don't mean to sound patronising, and I am sorry if I come across like that, but you really have put a lot of thought and research into this in a very academic way and so I really, really I enjoyed listening (This will probably end up being a long comment).
    About signs of ovulation, there's also another interesting piece of research which showed that female lap dancers who were ovulating at the time of performance received more money than those who weren't, suggesting either some pheromonal effect (not proven), or it could be as you say: maybe they were more flirtatious during ovulation - at a subconscious level - and hence came across as more alluring. I wouldn't know; I have never been to a strip club or night club or any of those places in my life!

    I do think you made a mistake in associating 'period synchronisation' between women who live close together with pheromones/evolution/whatever. The latest research suggests 'period synchronisation' happens purely by chance (for a straightforward explanation of this, see this BBC News article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37256161 ).

    There is also another hypothesis that could explain why men appear to be more keen on sex than women. Men pay a small energy price (going back to cave man days) for reproduction: they impregnate women, and they are free to leave (in hunter-gatherer societies). But women pay a higher energy price: they carry the baby! Hence, if a woman wants to pass on her genes, she needs to care for the baby and bring it up, but this is not possible if you have too many babies, so women evolved to be less sexually 'keen'. But for men, they don't have to really care for a baby to make sure they pass their genes on; if they impregnate a 100 women, and 80 babies are born, maybe 7 will live, passing on the man's genes without him having to put anything into childcare. Hence, men and women have evolved to optimise the chance of passing their genes to the next generation. This leads to something called sexual conflict (there is a Wikipedia page on it). Also, This links to the idea of species constantly having to evolve to compete against ever-evolving opposing organisms, called the Red Queen hypothesis (you can look that up), although sexual conflict and Red Queen are two different things, bear in mind.

    You say that men become more afraid of approaching women and hence 'castrate' themselves. In a slightly humorous but also serious sense, don't you think this is advantageous to nature, as humanity's effect on Earth will be less if our population is less...perhaps nature's gift (visually aroused sex drive) is nature's shield (with socially advanced species like humans, obviously other animals like monkeys don't feel 'shame' the way we do) :) ok that is probably not going to be a serious hypothesis.

    I agree with the two situations where the male gaze is inappropriate and I don't find it a problem. I myself have never found it difficult to hide what I am thinking about a woman when I am talking to her and act in a civil way, but when I am alone and say, browsing porn, it's almost I can't help myself. Strange that I am addicted to porn but at the same time prevent myself acting inappropriately with women in real life. I do actually feel ashamed to ask a woman out, I can't ever imagine having a girlfriend or getting married...the thought is scary and repulsive, but hey maybe it's not for me. I want intimacy, but don't know if my love for a woman is just lust or actual unconditional love???

    You also talked about it being ok to praise a woman's beauty. When is this appropriate and how would one phrase it?

    I am also really hoping that you do another episode on the Female Gaze and whether you agree with what I said earlier about women not having as strong sex drives as men or whether it is cultural influences that force women to suppress their desires?

    Thanks a lot for this fun and informative series you do; this is the first one I've listened to and think this is a great thing you are doing👍Definitely listening to the others and looking forward to more!

    PS-You asked for comments on the Skype idea; while that maybe great for others, I myself wouldn't be involved. I think the platform you have here on this website is fine!

    • A Eve on 2016-12-01 22:33:36 (UTC)

      Those are some really interesting points you raised, I too heard the recent theories on female synchronization of periods being random chance. I don't disbelieve it, it just hasn't been my experience as a woman who has lived with other women throughout my life. For me, anyway, It always happens, there's never been a time it hasn't. So while that could still be owing to chance, I tend to think there might be another explanation.

      You raise a lot of other questions, probably too much to get into here. I think you're not alone in feeling disconnected from women in the real world, a lot of young men feel this way. I'm trying to reconnect men with women and female sexuality so that they don't feel this way. As for the female gaze, or rather the question of whether women are less horny than men, I think generally speaking we think about sex a little less often than you do, but we still have a very strong drive and desire for it.

  • Smee on 2016-11-30 21:30:36 (UTC)

    You're laught is awsome, especially when you're self depricating. Lol

    • A Eve on 2016-12-01 22:29:02 (UTC)

      aww, thank you, you just made me laugh reading that :P

  • JimHumblestrong on 2016-11-30 21:02:56 (UTC)

    Hi. You know, I came to your site because of the exclusive content, in search of something soothing. But what intrigues me and will make me stay, is the quality of your Under the Covers series. Thank you for sharing from your insight in such a reflected way. The episode on the Male Gaze and on Shyness are favorites so far. You say you're not a therapist, but listening to you is highly therapeutic for me - lots of appreciation and more...

    • A Eve on 2016-12-01 22:28:46 (UTC)

      You're very welcome, thank you for listening. And thanks for the compliments, it means a lot to me ❤️

  • leytod on 2016-11-25 19:19:58 (UTC)

    How did I not comment on this? I listened several times! Sorry. Here's my short note to say, "I listened, I enjoyed, and thank you."

    • A Eve on 2016-11-25 21:13:57 (UTC)

      haha that almost has a Caesar sort of ring to it. Thanks LT ❤️

  • MadWithLust on 2016-11-15 11:23:29 (UTC)

    I didn't realize that "the male gaze" was a thing. I thought this episode would just be about guys checking you girls(boobies and hourglasses and all :P) out! Which it kind of is, but there's so much more to it.

    I've never really thought about why guys always want sex but you dug super deep and came up with so many great insights! I love how you looked at it from so many perspectives, biological, chemical, evolutionary, boobs... This was very well spoken, very well reasoned, and very good to listen to!

    P.S. For the format of UTC, I understand it'd feel more natural to have a discussion. I doubt I'd be able to Skype with the time zone thing but I wouldn't mind listening to a panel discussion or as always just listening to you!

    • A Eve on 2016-11-15 19:09:15 (UTC)

      Aww, thanks MWL 💋

  • GrinnHelix on 2016-11-15 05:38:55 (UTC)

    Oh my gosh this episode was so many levels of awesome! I absolutely adore this series as a whole, but this one hit so many good science buttons and had my brain buzzing by the end of it with all the fascinating ideas. Not only that but you brought some positive light to a subject which is almost always considered ``bad, end of discussion``, quite successfully. Also I think you should give the real time discussion via skype and the like a shot, could lead to some really cool talks.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-15 19:10:10 (UTC)

      Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I've had some real interest in a Skype session and already have one guest, another female GWA performer, lined up. :)

  • Martti45 on 2016-11-13 17:20:01 (UTC)

    Human males are evolved trough evolution to rely mostly on their sight to seek a partner. It's the reason why this shitposting of "she does not have tits" exist in the first place. It does not justify it oviously, but it is their lizard brain talking at that moment. I'm personally sick and tired of this shaming of normal and healty male sexuality and these stupid trolls are only making it worse. I love women and i respect women. I also find them really attractive. Basic human sexuality at work.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-14 19:42:15 (UTC)

      Yes, and hallelujah. I'd hate for human sexuality to go away, it's one of the best things in life.

  • Hitoshura on 2016-11-13 06:30:43 (UTC)

    I really loved this episode, you gave some intresting ideas that I've never considered.

    Whenever the topic of gender is brought to the table I think that some times is just easier to "side" with one extreme of the spectrum, rather than listen to a different point of view. And either think something like "all men are sexist" or "women are just overreacting", when in reallity nether is the absolute truth.

    Being a man doesn't automatically mean that you are sexist, however the fact that manhood isn't intrensically harmful doesn't mean that there are no attitudes or actions that men do, wich can hurt women (and other people in general).

    I think that everyone can take a very healthy message out of this episode: "being sexually atracted to a woman is perfectly ok, but thinking that sex is the only thing that matter about her, or worst, thinking that women you personally don't find attractive have no place in the world and there is abolutely no value to them, are mind sets that will prevent you from having real relationships with women, and with people in general".

    At least that's my take on it.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-14 19:41:34 (UTC)

      Thank you so much - I think you got it :P

  • Rec2299 on 2016-11-13 04:59:48 (UTC) (edited)

    I'd like to believe I'm not an unattractive person, and I find it both exciting and ego boosting when a woman stares at me. It opens up an opportunity at conversation if I choose to pursue that, or at the very least, it brightens day a bit. I'd like to think that if a woman catches me looking her way, the same effect applies.

    Naturally, there are lines that can be crossed, even amongst the most open of people, but that applies to either man or woman, and I don't think that's ever going to change. Be it open aggression or passive aggression on the internet.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-14 19:40:18 (UTC)

      I agree, who doesn't like a little ego boost now and then?

  • Durgarnkuld on 2016-11-11 19:27:25 (UTC) (edited)

    If there is such a things as the female gaze, I hope to experience it at some point of life, however unlikely that may be.
    All that talk about boobies, bah! I'm happy with a round ass woman, thank you very much! :P ^^

    Seriously though; I can only speak for myself, but I admire the female essence. Maybe I'm just sugar coating my own objectifying of women that way, but I don't see them as objects per se (even in horny mode), but rather links to the overarching female...ness. Or something like that. And maybe thats the same thing, but I don't feel that dirty about it at least.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-12 17:09:52 (UTC)

      Good, I'm very glad you don't feel bad about, you shouldn't. And I'm glad you like a round ass, or whatever else you like :P

  • Kallistei on 2016-11-10 15:46:05 (UTC)

    I like your take on its origins from an evolutionary perspective. You sound like you've studied medicine or human biology. Have you ever considered its origins from the perspective of it as social institution? A very large part of sexiness is definitely a social institution, and varies widely between cultures. We love boobs in the West, but in other parts of the world it can be the back of the neck (think of a kimono being low cut on the back and high at the front), or the African tribe that likes women with gold-plated giraffe necks or that other tribe where the women carry all their dishes in their ears. Some cultures really aren't that into breasts at all and think the Western "obsession" is incredibly immature. Even within our love for all things mammary, it's been shown that preferences for specific cup sizes follow a tight linear correlation to our salaries. Rich men like smaller boobs it turns out.

    So, just as we are taught to read that a specific set of letters makes a specific sound and that a specific sound has a specific semantic meaning depending on what language you're learning, you can be taught to read that a specific set of attributes in either sex are sexual attributes. They may or may not be visual attributes - the marquardt mask or formant spacing in the voice respectively being general examples.

    The idea would work as an extension to your evolutionary idea, where the biology evolved to a point and the social institutions evolved past that point.

    Your mention of Trump made me laugh. Everything about him makes me laugh. He strikes me as being part of his own audience, as if he wants to be impressive to himself by impressing others, so he objectifies the women you mention so that he can incorporate them into his own object of self. They're not people, just extensions of him and his legend.

    I like your way of defining things as problematic: if it doesn't hurt you, and it doesn't hurt anyone else, it's fine - and there is no wrong version of fine. It would be pretty awesome to have a beer with you.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-11 10:18:18 (UTC)

      Aww, thanks, right back at ya :D

      I didn't know that about boob size and wealth, that's really interesting. I'm listening to an audiobook right now called "Invisible Influence" in which the author talks about how the more expensive a product is, the smaller the brand logo is, or is even missing altogether. Maybe it's part of that dynamic?

      • Kallistei on 2016-11-11 11:19:39 (UTC)

        Explains why Kanye West can sell a plain white T-shirt for $300. His genius must be way ahead of the curve.

        Perhaps the small logos on the brand of girl in question indicate lower oestrogen, which is one of the biggest contributors to breast development. Higher levels of oestrogen are correlated to patterns female dominant behaviour when balanced by progesterone, but are otherwise correlated to depression/anxiety when they aren't balanced. Since these CEO types are probably used to being the boss, they would want their eye-candy to be fun and not depressed, and don't want their eye-candy to boss them back. Over time they learn to associate smaller boobs with giggly submission. Purely generalised speculation of course.

        That said, have you ever heard of the 2d:4d ratio? Length of index finger relative to length of ring finger that is. If the index finger is relatively longer, that person was exposed to more oestrogen before being born. If the ring finger is relatively longer, that person was exposed to more testosterone before being born (and it's been reliably correlated to penis length - tell just one woman at any gathering, grab some popcorn and enjoy the chaos unraveling before you XD ). You seem like you enjoy exploring the intricate details of things, maybe you can suss out patterns (I've seen a few) or just have some wicked fun with it ;)

        • A Eve on 2016-11-11 11:23:30 (UTC)

          haha that's awesome, my index fingers are longer than my ring fingers and I have big knockers. I guess that makes me a girly girl? :P

          • Kallistei on 2016-11-12 12:24:18 (UTC)

            Wanna know a secret? Size doesn't matter :P

            • A Eve on 2016-11-12 17:10:05 (UTC)

              True that :)

  • Jandrusel on 2016-11-10 14:58:08 (UTC) (edited)

    (This comment was removed by the original poster to appease the standards and sensibilities of the Internet)

    I deeply apologize for expressing my opinion on the Internet. Big mistake.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-11 10:12:39 (UTC)

      Aww, don't do that. I didn't even get to see what you wrote.

      • A Eve on 2016-11-11 10:13:30 (UTC)

        Come on, play nice kids or I swear I'll turn this comments section around and... :P

    • NerdyNick on 2016-11-10 15:21:27 (UTC)

      Wait? How does being sexually attracted equvelent to being a diresoecting asshole? Also Johnny Bravo was awesome. Mommy? Real man? First to know? I don't wanna get kicked, so I'll just leave those statements alone.

  • NerdyNick on 2016-11-10 14:11:04 (UTC)

    I really don't wanna be that person, but Eve... You are aware trolls and shit-posting is a thing right? Not EVERY mean thing said on the internet has anger behind it. Most of the time it's just said to get a rise out of someone. On top of that it isn't only directed at women... And it's not only men doing it. Also, I'm not a Trump supporter, but Trump wins lol.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-10 14:32:57 (UTC)

      If it were only an online phenomenon I'd agree with you. But the insults called out of car windows, the nasty names, the putdowns and 'rating systems' by guys - all of that happened in the real world, to me and every woman I've ever known. I think the online world just lets people reveal who they really are, and even 'shitposting' usually picks a specific target for a reason.

      • NerdyNick on 2016-11-10 15:15:24 (UTC)

        Whoa! I thought I was talking to Eve from Eraudica, not Laci Green from Braless. First, nasty names from men? A good portion of "misogynistic" or nasty. Moments directed at women are from other women. Second, rating system? You mean the 1-10 rating that even women do as well? Third, "every woman I've woman I've ever know." Wow, just wow. That was like text feminist arguement shutdown 101. I'll just say, I highly doubt that and leave it at that. Fourth and finally, shit-posters do have speech targets, people who are easily offended by words on a screen. Again, shit-posting or trolling is simply to get a raise out of someone and EVERYONE ALWAYS falls for it. I've been on both ends.

          • NerdyNick on 2016-11-11 23:34:00 (UTC)

            Why are you all acting so defensive? I haven't attacked anyone, insulted anyone, swore at anyone. All I did was give my opinion on a few things in the audio, suddenly I must be surrounded by horrible women, I'' entitled (how, I don't know) and I'm a troll. Whoa, look, I know emotions and tension is high after finding out Donald-fucking-Trump is gonna the 45th president, but there's no need to jump to conclusions.

          • A Eve on 2016-11-11 10:13:59 (UTC)

            Don't feed the trolls :D

        • Arcturus on 2016-11-11 06:04:10 (UTC) (edited)

          I wonder if this post is a meta-trolling attempt. I suppose this reply means I'm falling for the bait.

          The use of ranking systems and insults by both men and women do not make these acts positive or neutral, they're still harmful. Eve herself promotes sex and body positivity.

          As far as trolling being meant to get a rise out of someone, that really depends on the troll and the audience. The troll could have genuine ill will, and the audience could be sensitive. This does not mean that actions intended to be harmless have no real effect.

          • NerdyNick on 2016-11-11 23:37:33 (UTC)

            I guess that's another way of looking at it. It's just I'm so uneffected by words, it boggles me how it destroys other people. ESPECAILLY on the internet. It's word to that words on a screen could destroy someone.

          • A Eve on 2016-11-11 10:14:31 (UTC)

            I've learned not to feed the trolls at all :)

            • NerdyNick on 2016-11-11 23:43:20 (UTC)

              Really Eve? You get one differing or opposing opinion on a topic and suddenly they're a troll? I've comment on some of your other stuff and how much I liked it. I'm not a new comentor Eve. Once again, not sure it it's Trump's victory that has emotions high, but there's no need for this behavior.

  • ChocPanda on 2016-11-10 08:37:57 (UTC)

    Hey, your friendly neighbourhood kiwi back again. I'm not going to pretend I'm at all educated or informed enough to go toe to toe with you intellectually nor do I even wish to debate you haha but I found this incredibly well presented and it highlighted a lot of great points and ideas I reallylike these episodes and even though I share a lit of your views I kind of dont feel smart enough to have any opinions. Cant wait for the next episode.

    • A Eve on 2016-11-10 14:33:40 (UTC)

      Thanks, darlin', but you are definitely smart enough, c'mon...

      • ChocPanda on 2016-11-11 06:46:38 (UTC)

        What I mean to say is you seem to have read some articles of information to support your points where as I just look at the world around me and say "No, I don't want this to be me," the idea of approaching a woman in person is sometimes simply too daunting because of the way I feel I look in person though I personally feel I can be quite charming or confident verbally it's my face or my less than stunning physique that puts them off.

        • A Eve on 2016-11-11 10:16:09 (UTC)

          Well, in my experience, people tend to exaggerate their faults, especially physical ones. They assume people will find them hideous when in fact they are average-looking, or even actually attractive to someone. Please let your personality shine through ♥

          • ChocPanda on 2016-11-13 04:41:44 (UTC)

            Um...thanks eve, really haha :)