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• NewSubFoundWho on 2021-04-12 14:50:19 (UTC)

  (Sorry this is so long. Apparently I don't do "short and sweet" very well! Not even close.) I always thought of myself as a quiet observer, or silent participant, but "lurker" definitely makes for a catchier title heading! A. Treating what you do as a delayed-response, virtual, live-theatre presentation is something I had never considered. It's heartbreaking to learn that you perceived no comments as an uncaring audience at a play, with you as the only actor onstage. I guess I always thought of you as so strong, and removed, and therefore somehow essentially magically invulnerable to online comments. I suppose this was simply because of your continually presented powerful message of body-positivity and sex-positivity in your audio scenarios. Thanks for the reminder that you're still just a human being behind the voice and the writing. It was enough to push me to sign up for my first ever personal account to comment online - anywhere...ever...for anything.

  • NewSubFoundWho on 2021-04-12 14:51:48 (UTC)

    B. There's a concept I've heard of recently called "generosity of assumption." It's all about putting a positive spin on events as the default option. The normal positive-outlook standard, "giving people the benefit of the doubt," would mean assuming people who listen to your audio don't hate it...because they didn't leave a bad comment. Generosity of assumption goes far beyond this, and means presuming people really liked your audio...because they didn't leave a bad comment or review. C. Of course, there are always people out there who actually do attack others, and online even more so. If you haven't yet, I hope you can manage to hire an assistant to screen your communication and comments. Everyone needs a troll-shield protection spell! Maybe there's even a spam filter now that works on vicious comments and dic pics? Not something I'd want to have to personally design, but definitely something that should exist!

    • NewSubFoundWho on 2021-04-12 14:52:55 (UTC)

      D. I hope so much that you are able to use this interpretation when considering what you create and share. Presume everyone who listened to your audio really liked it. And presume anyone who clicked on the like/loved it button absolutely adored it! Consider silence as quiet applause, not indifference or dislike. It's really hard to do, especially for creative performers - realy hard. For me, it's been a slow, tough, continual work-in-progress. But it's a viewpoint that can help immeasurably to reinforce a positive outlook on yourself. You deserve that. E. And lastly, and possibly most importantly : THANK YOU EVE so very, very much for what you do!!! Your audios are wildly sexy! Your discussion series are deeply thoughful, considered, and helpful. I've tried to convey just how much I love and appreciate your work. Hopefully it translated into words. Kind thoughts and best wishes! ~ NS.

      • A Eve on 2021-04-23 12:05:47 (UTC)

        Well thank you for leaving such thoughtful comments! I'm so glad you're enjoying the series, and I really appreciate hearing from listeners, so thanks again xx

• Levi2165 on 2020-12-28 15:12:07 (UTC)

  Hi Eve. I don't consider myself a lurker but appreciate you bringing this topic out. I recently discovered this website while searching for a particular type of erotic audios and have spent a fair amount of time enjoying yours. Very well done :)

  • A Eve on 2021-01-03 15:38:40 (UTC)

    Thank you so much! And thanks for commenting!

• TexasRed14 on 2020-09-25 01:42:22 (UTC)

  Thank you, this has been very eye opening! I really appreciate what you do.

  • A Eve on 2020-09-28 09:42:05 (UTC)

    Thank you so much! I'm glad you found it useful xx

• Grabnaur on 2018-09-16 11:15:09 (UTC)

  I enjoy your audios and appreciate what you do, keep up the good work.

  • A Eve on 2018-09-17 21:36:23 (UTC)

    Thank you so much! 💋

• MGShadow1989 on 2018-05-09 03:33:12 (UTC)

  I'd love to know the reasons behind this shame, guilt, etc I have the same thought in regards to your points in Episode 8, with girls feeling like a guy will discard them or something after they've been intimate. Who the fuck is teaching boys, young men and I suppose even older men, that their desires are shameful or whatever..? - It's a very easy assumption that religion plays a big role in that, but is it unfair to suggest it being the only influence?

  I just find it quite sad how sexually repressed so many people are - although, this is coming from a guy who is guilty of going into TMI territory far too often...

  As for the context of lurkers, I have the opposite concern having only recently found your site. I type out a comment on most of what I've listened to, only to cancel it out of not wanting to be a nuisance, lol

  • A Eve on 2018-07-21 10:01:46 (UTC)

    Aww, well I'm sorry you feel like you're being a nuisance. Most performers or anyone who puts themselves 'out there' need to hear feedback on what they do - it's an important part of the process. Without it, it can be very lonely and isolating.

• Nikom on 2017-09-17 00:27:41 (UTC)

  Oh, the start of this one certainly sends shivers down every lurker's spine ;) and not only lurker's. I think it's good to link this one back to https://www.eraudica.com/e/eve/2017/Eve-s-Guide-for-Regular-Guys-Episode-9-Online-Etiquette-with-Women-ep-9 in case of other fellow lurkers to come up with a comment. And yet (hence the link) I have a bit less popular reason for lurking to offer. The more you're into something the harder and more complicated it gets to be cool and nice about it. I've just tried to express how much I appreciate your work - it takes too much words, so basically I just can't) It's sad enough to stop me from commenting the thing I really like. And why would I comment in other way? So I'm just lurking) Thank you, you're great!

  • A Eve on 2017-09-18 14:03:26 (UTC)

    Well I appreciate even just this much, so thank you!

• V9EliteGunny on 2017-05-09 21:38:21 (UTC) (edited)

  hi Eve i like your audios they put a smile on my face

  • A Eve on 2017-09-18 14:03:38 (UTC)

    I'm very glad!

• Rae on 2017-04-18 08:00:27 (UTC)

  Thank you Eve for covering this topic. I guess if I'm ever going to comment then it has to be on this one. I didn't know about some of the reasons people lurked until now and I am very surprised. I can't believe that some guys could look at you like some psycho ex-girlfriend. I can understand how people would choose not reveal themselves because of the tsunami of other comments but despite this I usually end up giving feedback to any other performer whether it be singers, dancers, painters, etc. I'm only a lurker for stuff like this, sexual stuff. I know this is absolutely normal for you since you do it all the time but I end up feeling uncomfortable talking to you due to the sexual component. It's like as if I were to walk up to a pornstar and say, "Hey, I really enjoyed watching you get fucked", I just end up feeling like a creep.
  It's just really new to me and I'll just have to get used to it because ever since I started listening to you I've been wanting to tell you how much I truly love what you do. You're not here to just feed off attention and make an extra buck, you're here to promote sexuality in the most positive way possible. There is so much shame pointed towards sexuality and you aim to eliminate that. You want to help us and make us feel good about ourselves and I find that incredibly admirable. Keep on doing what you're doing Eve, you're amazing :)

  • A Eve on 2017-04-18 22:23:17 (UTC)

    Thank you very much, I appreciate your comments. I know it can be uncomfortable to talk about sex, or even just to someone who embraces sexuality. But you're right that I want to educate people about sex shame, and do what I can to loosen up some of the stigmas and taboos around it. I always hope to show people that I'm a nice, intelligent, friendly, sexual person - these things are not mutually exclusive 💋

• LucknowDragon on 2017-03-20 04:25:48 (UTC)

  Thanks for doing this. I'd be concerned I'd come off as a stalker if I commented on your work as often as I'd like to. And the last time I was stalking I fell out of the tree in front of your house. Boy did that hurt. lol ; )

  • A Eve on 2017-03-20 11:06:44 (UTC)

    haha so that was you! I hope you feel better! :p

• CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-03-01 05:47:39 (UTC) (edited)

  Hello Ms. Eve.

  I have just finished listening to this episode of Under the Covers and, like Commenter, thought this would be as good a place to step forth from the murky shadows; I think this page's topic is a great icebreaker. I only found this site a few days ago but after a cursory glance through the available content I remembered I had taken some pleasure in a few examples of your work a couple years before on Literotica, like the really, really hot Dr. Eve, or the Head Office Visit. I never commented back then. Literotica didn't even require visitors to create an account, so that qualifies me as a lurker. Heck, I don't have a Facebook profile, if that helps illustrate just how light my cyberspace footprint is. Anyhow, you said you like polite feedback so I will oblige with some gushing.

  I've enjoyed pioneering erotic audio content on the web since probably the turn of this century back when Napster, winMX and MP3.com were part of the digital zeitgeist (damn that makes me feel old; I was born in '82 so I'm like millennial Mark I). However, your works definitely have a passionate and loving quality to them that in my humble opinion is such a step above anything else I've heard that there is almost no comparison. Maybe it was the initial rush of infatuation with your sexy voice but it was enough to stop me from browsing Pornhub like a zombie. The way your audios incorporate your message of sex positivity is vanishingly rare to see in mainstream pornography. Right now, seeing all the other content not on Literotica makes me feel like I'm late to the party, but of course the silver lining is that I have so much your content to enjoy! So you may see comments on your older work from time to time; I'm assuming there is no such rule as 'necro'ing an old thread' on your site like there is in other web forums.

  Regarding your voice, maybe you've heard of Audio-Sensory Meridian Response, or ASMR, but I want to let you know that, for me at least, it does give me that pleasurable and relaxing 'tingle' in my head that avid ASMR consumers seek on YouTube's large community when they need to unwind. I mean your voice as heard in your Ask Eve or Under the Covers with Eve; your erotic voice of course arouses a different response entirely =). I'm also very much looking forward to listening to your non-erotic works, like your narration of your romance novel) or Sweet nothings. I saw a couple Star Wars audios in your collection, so maybe the reference will not be lost on you when I say that I will slooowly savour them like a sarlacc digesting its prey, haha.

  What you said about erotic audio performers just giving up because of lack of feedback is so true; most of the Adult Content performers I enjoyed way back in MP3.com I've not seen resurface after that site's shutdown, probably because they gauged that there wasn't much of any interest in their contributions. But also even when there is plenty in the way of comments and feedback, and I know you've encountered this with your mention of dick selfies in this episode of UTC, there are the trolls that spew such hurtful campaigns of harrassment it causes the performer/artist to leave entirely. I've seen it in the ASMR community with much loved ASRMtists closing their accounts or dropping off the face of the Earth with nary a goodbye, e.g. WhisperCrystal, Violet, etc.

  I apologize for the length of this comment, and I know you're very busy, but I had a few things piling up to say whilst I was a 'Lurker'. TL;DR version, and in case it got lost in the wall of text: I love your creative output! Keep going strong! Don't let the trolls get you down! THANK YOU! I'm confident I'm not the first to say that I truly appreciate you being a brave individual who isn't hesitant to reveal the beauty in her soul to the lucky netizens who stumble upon your site.

  Kind Regards,

  A former lurker.

  • A Eve on 2017-03-02 17:58:53 (UTC) (edited)

    Well thank you for stepping out of the shadows, I really appreciate it. I always leave my comments open, I don't know why some sites archive them after a year - what about all the new people just finding them?

    And I totally get the sarlacc - 'as you are slowly digested over a thousand years....' :P

    I have done a couple of ASMR themed audios, but in my experience, ASMR erotica is particularly trashed by people. Certain subreddits and Youtube can be insanely vicious to people who choose to do these kinds of audios, and the hate mail I received was absolutely vile. That alone may account for why people stop doing it.

    Anyway, thanks again, and I will definitely keep going 💋

• Commenter on 2017-02-22 00:17:31 (UTC)

  I've only been listening to your stuff for about 1 month now, but in that sort period I have been a lurker. I first stumbled on an HFO video of yours and really liked the challenge of it since it was unlike anything I had ever seen before. After that I was hooked for life!

  I really enjoy your audios (erotic and not) and you made me think about sexuality in a more iteresting way right when everything was starting to seem boring. Also I think I'm addicted to your voice...

  I hope you see this. It seemed appropriate for my first comment to be on this video since I tend to be quiet whene it comes to things like that.

  Anyhow, know that you're awesome and I thank you for that.

  • A Eve on 2017-02-22 22:44:18 (UTC)

    Well thank you so much for commenting, I'm very glad you decided to do it. And I'm also very glad you're enjoying my audios 💋

• Wills on 2017-01-16 23:33:09 (UTC)

  I appreciate your work and that of your peers.
  I should comment more here and elsewhere.

  I think for me the issue is that as I have grown older my world has diminished, reaching the point where it's split nearly evenly between the office and home. I really don't interact with people except in a commercial manner - working for clients, paying the grocery people or the delivery person. I think I have forgotten how.

  If someone helps me IRL, holding the door or letting me cut in line, of course I would say "Thank you". That's part of the glue that makes society work. I should do the same thing in this electronic society.

  I will.endeavor to take your comments to heart and comment more.

  Thank you for all your work. It has diminished the feelings I do not like.
  

  • A Eve on 2017-01-17 15:32:40 (UTC)

    Aw, thanks Wills, and thank you for coming forward to comment. It really does mean more than you think. It isn't easy to put yourself out there repeatedly, especially in a sexual area, and be greeted with silence, so thank you ❤️

• Sandwich on 2016-09-01 13:32:18 (UTC)

  Funny, i was listening to some other episodes of this series yesterday evening (the rejection one) and i was going all day today thinking that i should put a comment. Then today when i got home i decided to click this before commenting :) ... You have some really clever things to say, and you made me think a lot about life, thank you for that.

  • A Eve on 2016-09-01 18:38:52 (UTC)

    thank you, I really appreciate it. And thanks for commenting 💋

• Db2112 on 2016-07-02 06:31:05 (UTC)

  Reason number 6 as to why I don't comment on a lot of things: I've forgotten my login info and am too lazy to recover it to make a goofy comment at that moment.

  • A Eve on 2016-07-02 10:24:21 (UTC) (edited)

    Well consider this - aren't you glad the woman who made the audio you liked wasn't too lazy to make it? She could say "Yeah, I could make some goofy audio but I'm too lazy".

    If you're glad she makes the effort, you should too. And comments aren't goofy, they are what keep most people doing this at all. Silence from listeners is what makes a lot of women stop doing this.

• Andresson on 2016-01-23 20:18:04 (UTC)

  On GWA the audios I enjoy are fairly rare and, without exception, already freighted with comments and upvotes. So I guess my participation there could be more accurately categorized as "quiet stalker" than lurker. ;)

  I'm enjoying catching up on your podcasts. Thanks for making them!

  • A Eve on 2016-01-24 23:38:58 (UTC)

    You're very welcome, thanks for listening ❤️

• lowcountry on 2016-01-05 00:38:54 (UTC)

  Clap, clap!!

  I'm a lurker, for sure. I'm also an introvert, meaning I really have no desire to put my thoughts "out there", and also, I'm married to someone who would not approve of my being on your website at all.

  But boy do I approve of what you're doing! I listened to almost all your postings on Literotica this weekend, and I must say, I am smitten.

  • A Eve on 2016-01-05 15:17:56 (UTC)

    Well thank you! And I do understand, if you're unable to enjoy erotic audio because of a domestic disturbance doing so would cause, I fully understand :D

• Pogo on 2016-01-01 03:12:45 (UTC)

  I think I'd appreciate a new stalker ;)

  More seriously though, I think you've summed up a lot of my fears on this one. Although I was brought up to be gentlemanly and polite, there's a basic response that's going to occur whenever I visit the site and although I don't think you need every single detail, it's often difficult to know what - if anything - I should say. That's not your fault, it's society and social media.

  Its may be difficult to show that I respect you as an artist (which I do, completely) yet also show that I've enjoyed the results of listening to you without sounding crass. I'm not sure if there is a way to explain 'that' result politely :P

  You post some amazing content on here but thinking 'Oooh, Eve's arse! Oh... hang on, I shouldn't say anything' despite wishing to pay compliments is challenging. While my comments would be made in fun and I have little doubt you'd take it as anything else, I've been burned by it before and I think that may be common among many guys here.

  One thing I do appreciate though is that you've addressed this. It makes it easier :)

  • A Eve on 2016-01-02 11:27:15 (UTC) (edited)

    Thank you! I know that this is a tricky area for a lot of guys, and I do understand. One of my dear listeners, Samuel Enderby, summed it really well - context is everything. If I put audios out there designed to give you sexual pleasure, then it's more than okay to let me know you enjoyed it. If I put my photos out there for your enjoyment, same thing. I think as long as you remain polite in your responses - and you can still say "Wow I squirted so far I hit the ceiling fan" politely! - it will always be fine. ❤️

    • Pogo on 2016-01-02 21:26:36 (UTC)

      In that case I commend you on your wonderful derrière, but if I really did manage to hit the ceiling I think I'd have to tell more people than just yourself. I think I want putting in an exhibit! "Come one and all and see the wunderkind who hits the ceiling!" We'd make a fortune ;)

      • A Eve on 2016-01-04 12:57:38 (UTC)

        haha no kidding!

• TheSpiderInTheCorner on 2015-12-26 03:07:54 (UTC)

  Ok here we go jumping in the deep end.
  I am a lurker and shall remain such, but for now I have some thoughts regarding men's paradoxical response toward sex and sexual content. I've been thinking lately that there a certain amount of shaming of male libido in society. We hear things like 'men are dogs' or 'pigs' painting us as mindless slaves to our desires and as a child they can stick in your head and you grow up afraid to even look at a girl because you don't want get labelled as a creep. Combine this with typical male animal drives and suddenly you have a human that wants it and a person that is convinced they shouldn't want it.
  That's my 2 cents. Keep on rockin' Eve. PEACE!!

  Back to shadows....

  • A Eve on 2015-12-26 20:58:13 (UTC)

    Aww, well then thank you for coming forward to say this much at least. I appreciate it! And I do understand what men go through, don't worry. ❤️

• leytod on 2015-12-10 19:01:43 (UTC)

  You just can't seem to make a bad episode of UTC! Another great one!

  Here's my problem; you're so unbelievably creative and productive that I fall behind! But don't stop!

  I would like also add the importance of adding comments and clicking the "like" button for your works on sites like YouTube. You have obviously had a terrible time with censorship and positive comments help to give credibility that your work is truly supported by many people.

  • A Eve on 2015-12-12 20:18:56 (UTC)

    Thank you! That's a good point, getting upvotes in other places really counts

• GhostWombat on 2015-12-10 06:41:20 (UTC)

  I'm usually a lurker. I've got different reasons for different places online, but my two most consistent reasons are 1) overthinking my comments into oblivion, and 2) not wanting to creep on women.

  #1 is a pretty strong one for me. I want to write something cogent and meaningful, so I sit there thinking for a while until I realize that I've sat around for half an hour thinking about a comment on a 2 minute video. That's about when I throw in the towel.

  #2 - I'm not really personally worried about being found out and shamed for an internet comment in real life. It's not like I'm going to post something so weird or toxic that someone would feel compelled to find out who I am. It's more that if the content creator is a woman, I would strongly prefer to not make a comment that makes her feel uncomfortable. Sure, it would be a small drop in the bucket compared to the real vitriol everywhere, but even adding the slightest discomfort is something I would like to avoid. This is probably a subset of reason #1.

  Yeah, so I'm highly neurotic.

  Anyhoo... Eve, I think your UtC series covers a lot of interesting topics in a thoughtful and accessible manner. This one sure stuck with me.

  Be well.

  • A Eve on 2015-12-10 15:05:13 (UTC)

    Well, it's very much appreciated that you don't want to make a woman feel uncomfortable. As I said, if a woman is posting erotic content she's okay with you just writing to say "Thanks, I really liked this" or similar. And as Samuel Enderby said, we know you are going to get sexual pleasure from what we do, it's not unwelcome if you write and say that you did. It's only when comments become crass, too pushy, too vulgar or too personal that things become unpleasant.

• IListenForTheArticles on 2015-12-09 18:37:28 (UTC)

  I enjoy your Under the Covers' episodes, especially the one about missed signals from women (and funny stories from reddit).

  I plan to clap at the end of the upcoming Star Wars movie (if it's amazing).

  With regards to people rearranging furniture into names, I imagine performers have to worry a lot more about crazy fans rather than the other way around.

  Strong work.

• Grammario on 2015-12-09 01:16:38 (UTC)

  The word "lurk" (lurking) is actually much older than the internet.
  The Online Etymology Dictionary state:
  lurker: "one who lurks," early 14c., agent noun from lurk (v.)
  lurk: . 1300, lurken "to hide, lie hidden," probably from Scandinavian (compare dialectal Norwegian lurka "to sneak away," dialectal Swedish lurka "to be slow in one's work"), perhaps ultimately related to Middle English luren "to frown, lurk"

  • A Eve on 2015-12-09 20:33:24 (UTC)

    Oh I love the origin of words! :D

    I just meant the term "lurker" in terms of internet use, which seems to be about 20 years old at this point, about as old as the internet itself

• SomeRandomGuy on 2015-12-07 20:50:19 (UTC)

  I would just like to say that I enjoy your work.

  blogpost inc :
  I guess I am what you call a lurker, however I am not a lurker because the reasons you listed, as I am not ashamed of sexual content and the like (as a guy who has been jerking it since he was 4 years old and is now 22, being ashamed of this is beyond me), since me and my friends regularly share things we think the other likes (this is also how I was introduced to you).
  The reason for why I am a lurker is simply because it is in my nature. The environment and the way I was treated as I grew up molded me into some passive sideline person.

  However, this audio has inspired me to try to bring some positive feedback, as I have firsthand experience in what it's like to never receive positive feedback on one's work. Although the way I can provide such feedback is pretty limited, since I do not browse reddit regularly nor do I have a reddit account. And I wish it to stay that way, as I am not fond of reddit at all. Biggest reason being what you mentioned in this very audio.
  /blogpostEnd

  • A Eve on 2015-12-08 22:00:09 (UTC)

    Thank you very much, I really appreciate your comment. I understand if it's not in people's nature to comment publicly, that's fine. I just wanted people to be able to get over any sense of embarrassment they might have

• Wingnut on 2015-12-07 06:52:14 (UTC)

  Hey! I posted here before this. I'm not a lurker. :p

  One thing that kinda has held me back before however is possibly coming across as the bringer of something the poster might not want to hear about and getting verbally slammed around for it. More specifically bringing up some ancient topic for an equally ancient audio they did that they'd rather forget about or just leave be let alone answer positively to seeing a desire for more of the same.

  • A Eve on 2015-12-07 12:42:54 (UTC) (edited)

    One of my listeners wrote a great comment about this when I posted this on my site

    Samuel Enderby's comment

    He discussed this idea, about how erotic audio performers are asking for your comments and know that you are being sexual with their content - so it's all good!

    As for bringing up anything you think the poster might not like, you can always private message them, or in my case email.

    I don't think I have any audios I'd rather forget about btw :D

• 20DollarEarBuds on 2015-12-07 05:27:26 (UTC) (edited)

  Really liked this episode. Gave some really good insight into the view a content creator. The movie vs theater analogy really helped put it together too.

  One thing that got me thinking was when you mentioned the sense of embarrassment a lot of men feel about erotic audio. Seeing as I'm guilty of this, I find it to be due to the fact that erotic audio is a much smaller and more recent medium compared to erotic images and videos. Given more time to grow and reach more consumers I think it should take off pretty quickly.

• MadWithLust on 2015-12-07 03:39:44 (UTC)

  Every time I've ever commented or messaged Eve, she has always been quite warm and friendly and I can't think of a time when she wasn't the coolest and most gracious person. So...if you think Eve will bite, just think about the kind of woman that would make the kind of sex-positive erotic audio that you're enjoying here!