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Under the Covers with Eve: Episode 12 - The Tinder Dating Experiment

17:52 Under the Covers with Eve episode 12 / 34 Nov 29, 2015 9 comments 4102 1047

Download (32 MB, MP3)

This week’s episode is just an open-ended discussion about a recent experiment done about Tinder dating. Here is a link to the videos (as part of a story from The Huffington Post) - just scroll down to about the middle of the page to find them.

The Videos

So at the point in the audio where I ask you to go watch the videos, just go to this link where you will be able to watch first one and then the other.

I admit this episode may seem contradictory in parts, and that’s okay. I am just musing on this subject, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in situations like this, I’m just ’thinking out loud’ about what might be happening. I wanted this to be a starting point for your own thoughts on the subject - do you agree with some of the things I said? Or do you think I’m way off? Do you see the conflicting nature of what you’re seeing - or does it all seem to fit with your world view? One thing I’m confident about is this - if you want to figure something out, you have to see it in its entirety, you have to consider all angles, and you have to call a spade a spade - you have to be willing and able to point out fallacies and falsehoods as well as listen and learn. One thing I don’t want is for anyone to take something like this at face value and just believe what they are being led to believe.

As a small example, you’re probably aware of the Dove Real Beauty Campaign that sprang up about 10 years ago now, the much-praised marketing promotion that saw supposed ’real’ women used in ads for Dove. A lot of people jumped on this bandwagon wholeheartedly, and supported Dove’s attempts to speak to school girls about body image and self-esteem - noble goals, of course - and yet…it wasn’t lost on many people that all of it was a campaign to sell….beauty cream. Cellulite cream, anti-aging cream, skin conditioners, etc.

And, it has to be said, the women chosen for these ads were selected much the same way ’models’ are selected - for how photogenic they were, for how bright and happy their smiles were, for how generally lovely they were. If you notice, none of their non-models were unattractive - they just weren’t stick thin and 19. And I would hazard a guess that these ads were touched up in PhotoShop - to erase inconvenient rolls of fat or blemishes - just as much as the ads with models were.

And something else to keep in mind - Dove is produced by Unilever, which also produces Axe cologne - (Lynx in the UK) which has been highly criticized for it’s sexualized images of women and the consistent message that if you just douse yourself in this stuff, supermodels will fall from the sky and want to have sex with you. They also produce Slim Fast diet products, and Fair and Lovely, a skin-lightening product marketed to dark-skinned women around the world. So ask yourself whether Unilever is just tailoring their marketing of each unique product to suit the demographic they are trying to reach.

It’s just another example, to my mind, of the critical thinking required of each of us when presented with any kind of image or statement from the media. And I think it’s especially important to question these things whenever men are portrayed as jerks or assholes or sexual predators.

music by E-train


Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve

Comments

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  • MakrMaldrill on 2021-12-07 16:35:44 (UTC) (edited)

    Of course the Huff post does an experiment like this. They always make the women out to be the victims and demonize men. Us men get shamed for having the standard of "don't be a landwhale" but the huff doesn't criticize the near impossible standards and entitlement complex that most women on tinder have.

    That's why I'm glad you took a more balanced approach in your response and you call out the double standards in the portrayal of men that seldom gets addressed.

    I don't waste my time on Tinder. Online dating apps really skew the supply/demand curve. If you are a man who isn't a 10 then lots of luck. These 2 videos are really telling. I implore everyone to watch both of these.

    What Tinder is like for a guy who is a 10: https://youtu.be/nbc866l77p4

    What Tinder is like for the average guy: https://youtu.be/DZTIbHIsIYw

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-03-09 02:39:17 (UTC) (edited)

    Your balanced, multifaceted critical analysis of important issues is half of what keeps me coming back to these discussion audios. Your voice is the other half (it sounds good and quite clear, but when you said you were sick I was expecting some extra sexy huskiness =D).

    Here's a summary of a study presented last year by two researchers from the University of North Texas:

    http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2016/08/tinder-self-esteem.aspx

    They associate Tinder use basically with heightened focus on physical appearance regardless of gender, though the study was aimed at women with almost five times as many of them compared to men. If Tinder users have been 'trained' to focus so strongly on the superficial, I think it becomes part of their internalized standards for evaluating the physical appearance of not only themselves, but of others they meet through the app. Like a distorted lens. So someone with a hypersensitivity about their looks conceivably becomes a slave to improving them and when they meet somebody who falls short of these standards they impose upon themselves we can better understand why they are primed to react in negative fashion. The SimplePickup experiment just exaggerates this dynamic with the visual dissonance created by the makeup and fatsuit, compounded by the hookup context that MadWithLust mentions.

    One of the things they say men can do on International Women's Day is to remind women that we appreciate them and their contributions. I simply can't leave you out, Eve, so thank you for granting us this window into your insights on these relevant topics.

    • A Eve on 2017-03-09 15:46:50 (UTC)

      Thanks so much for this Charlie :D Very interesting points and a great link. And thank you very much for the compliments too xox

  • STEVE4EVE on 2016-02-25 22:26:57 (UTC)

    Very perceptive, Eve.

    The same observations can be applied to just about any news item or documentary film ... scripting and editing can seemingly "prove" just about any viewpoint.

    • A Eve on 2016-02-26 10:33:23 (UTC)

      Thank you - yes that's true. It's really important to notice everything about something presented to you as a 'fact' - often it's just someone's agenda

    • A Eve on 2015-12-12 20:19:20 (UTC)

      Thanks Joe, I'm on the mend!

  • leytod on 2015-12-02 13:36:10 (UTC)

    Love your perspective on this, Eve.

  • MadWithLust on 2015-11-29 20:30:50 (UTC)

    I think your voice sounds fine, but by all means, don't overdo it if you're not feeling well!

    I thought the experiments were pretty flawed for many of the same reasons. Tinder is for one-night stands so you can't blame either the man or the woman for being superficial. It's a valid reason to be upset when you are led on like that.

    In my opinion, the men were being upfront and honest. It might have hurt the girl's feelings up front but that would have been the end of it. But for the guy, I agree that the women were pretty much being polite and would probably leave the guy waiting by the phone. Forever!

    I also wanted to point out that women also had an out, with the option of having a platonic relationship. None of the women seemed like they were ready to hook up, but they all seemed to be okay with just hanging out and doing stuff. Which is great, but it doesn't mean that the guy ever had a chance with these women.

    • A Eve on 2015-11-30 12:29:03 (UTC)

      Thanks MWL...I think my voice is on the mend, too :)