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Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 6: You're Not a Virgin (You Just Think You Are)

20:45 Under the Covers with Eve episode 6 / 34 Oct 18, 2015 12 comments 11014 1829

Download (28 MB, MP3)

In this week's episode, I discuss a subject that has come up a lot lately - virginity. And while I have done several virginity-themed audios and an Ask Eve about it, but here are few more thoughts that I'd like to share with you. For instance:

  • There is nothing wrong with not having had sex yet
  • How 'virgin' only applies to women
  • Why you shouldn't label yourself
  • Why you shouldn't define yourself by something you haven't experienced yet

and finally

  • Why you're not a virgin - you just think you are

*music courtesy afrodrumming


Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve

Comments

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  • MCMongoose on 2023-03-03 15:05:59 (UTC)

    Been here before, but felt this was the right one given the topic. I have been unable to overcome my shyness with women.

    Turning 32 this July. Apparently that means I've only got 8 good years left and I am still a virgin. Hard not to feel like I've not been very good at this "be a man" business.

    • A Eve on 2023-03-19 22:04:07 (UTC)

      Don't listen to the 40 year old virgin nonsense, it doesn't matter in the real world. I'm glad you said you 'haven't been' able to, since that means you haven't up til now. Things can change, I promise.

      • MCMongoose on 2023-03-25 20:31:54 (UTC)

        So when I see women saying out loud on podcasts and stuff that they don't want to waste time teaching men things and that virgins never know what to do, how am I supposed to take that? I feel like I'm beyond catching up now.

        • A Eve on 2023-04-17 19:41:10 (UTC)

          The women who put themselves out there on podcasts about dating are not representative of women, any more than the pick up artist type dude bros who teach guys how to trick women into sex are representative of men. Consider the source, always.

  • Grabnaur on 2018-09-25 13:20:51 (UTC)

    I've heard some women like to fuck virgins over experienced men is there any truth to this and if so why?

    • A Eve on 2018-09-30 15:17:56 (UTC)

      Some women like the idea of being a guy's first lover, for many of the same reasons some guys like being a girl's first. There's a kind of specialness, to it - you will always be remembered as their first. You can help someone develop their sexuality. And usually, a virgin (male or female) will be very enthusiastic about the experience.

      Some people like the idea that there are no exes to compare or compete with, no kids, no diseases, etc. But those are just some of the reasons I've heard.

  • Nejove on 2017-05-05 03:31:14 (UTC)

    I've been of the opinion that virginity was a dumb, useless concept for quite a while now, but I have to admit that I was interested to learn those historical and linguistic details about the concept and what it was originally intended to mean. It seems to me that virginity falsely implies that someone is a fundamentally different person based on whether or not they have had sex. Other than that, pretty much the only time the "virginity" distinction is useful seems to be if you're trying to either make people feel bad for having sex or make them feel bad for not having sex. The reasons people feel bad about being a virgin aren't always a matter of the concept of virginity itself, though.

    • A Eve on 2017-05-06 14:04:59 (UTC)

      You're right, these days it's almost always used in some kind of negative way, whether someone has or hasn't had sex. I do wish we could get rid of the whole notion altogether, I think a lot of people would be much happier.

      • Nejove on 2017-05-06 22:18:36 (UTC)

        Having no concept of virginity would make people happier, but I don't think it would stop everyone from feeling bad about it. Sometimes virginity is just how people phrase it when it's the inexperience itself they feel bad about.

        • A Eve on 2017-05-07 19:09:31 (UTC)

          I've noticed that in most cases it verges on the pathological, as in "I haven't had sex yet, I'm a freak" etc, so I agree that it's the lack of experience with it that seems to cause the real problem. I wish this wasn't the case, since it makes no sense to fault yourself for something you haven't experienced yet.

  • MSA on 2015-10-19 00:08:08 (UTC)

    Thank you for this. I been trying to stress this for a long time. Whenever I tell people that I am a virgin, they look at me as if I am some kind of weirdo and I always respond to them saying that I am proud to be one. I have no problem saying that and just like you, I wish people would get it out of their heads that it's strange to be a virgin. It's not strange, it's a choice or at least for me it is. Thank you for these and keep doing what you are doing.

    • A Eve on 2015-10-22 10:06:10 (UTC)

      You're very welcome, thanks for the encouragement! ❤️