Under the Covers with Eve - Episode10: Oblivious - Picking Up on Signals from Women
If you truly knew the number of times women have lobbed serious hints in the direction of their objects of desire...
...only to have them sail right over the guy's head...
Oh, it's enough to make you cry.
Tonight I discuss the ways in which women often signal their interest in men - the top 12 signs you have to look for!
Here is the massive post on Askreddit full of these tales of woe
And here is Matt Savage's blog entry about his experience
Please feel free to add your own tale of missed glory in the comments :D
Other audios in Under the Covers with Eve
- Episode 1 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 1: Sexiness
- Episode 2 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 2: Romance Novels (ie Sex Manuals)
- Episode 3 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 3: Body Image
- Episode 4 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 4: Visualizing The Love & Sex You Want
- Episode 5 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 5: The Renaissance of You
- Episode 6 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 6: You're Not a Virgin (You Just Think You Are)
- Episode 7 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 7: Sex in the Movies
- Episode 8 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 8: Introducing Her to Your Fantasies
- Episode 9 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 9: Depression
- Episode 10 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode10: Oblivious - Picking Up on Signals from Women ←
- Episode 11 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 11 : Alpha Male, Beta Male...How about Nu Male?
- Episode 12 Under the Covers with Eve: Episode 12 - The Tinder Dating Experiment
- Episode 13 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 13: Lurkers
- Episode 14 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 14: The Case for Making Erotic Audio
- Episode 15 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 15: Why I'm Not a Feminist
- Episode 16 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 16: (Don't)* Meet a Woman This Year
- Episode 17 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 17: Beauty
- Episode 18 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 18: Awaken Your Sexual Self
- Episode 19 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 19: Porn Addiction
- Episode 20 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 20: Meeting the Right Person
- Episode 21 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 21: There's No Playbook for Sex
- Episode 22 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 22: The Death of Debate
- Episode 23 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 23: Aftersex
- Episode 24 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 24: The Rape Fantasy
- Episode 25 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 25: Loneliness
- Episode 26 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 26: Movie Night
- Episode 27 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 27: The Sex Trade
- Episode 28 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 28: Refusing to Choose
- Episode 29 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 29: Sexy Isn't a Size (Feat. 17 Ladies from Gone Wild Audio)
- Episode 30 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 30: Preparing for the First Time
- Episode 31 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 31: Shyness
- Episode 32 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 32: Rejection
- Episode 33 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 33: Late Bloomers
- Episode 34 Under the Covers with Eve - Episode 34: The Male Gaze
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Xenophanes on 2023-04-26 23:23:00 (UTC) (edited)
It's fun to think of playful ways to respond to some of those missed signals :-P For example:
• Girl: Can you get this ice-cream off from my cheek? But it seems you have no choice but to use your mouth... we're out of napkins.
• Guy: Sure! [He "attempts" to remove it.] Oh, damn, I missed! [He "attempts" again.] Damn, this ice-cream is so elusive! [He finally gets it.] Oh, I "see" some of it has magically and unbeknownst to you jumped on your other cheek, I'll immediately take care of that – no problem!
A Eve on 2023-05-11 12:37:45 (UTC)
I always think of the last scene in Dumb and Dumber, where the Bikini team bus pulls up and says they're looking for two oil boys, and Lloyd and Harry point them in the direction of town, saying something like 'boy, two lucky guys are going to have a great time' 😂
Xenophanes on 2023-04-28 14:44:39 (UTC)
Also, it would be funny if she says her hands are cold, trying to get you to hold them, and your hands are even colder than hers 😁 If she doesn't say anything, then that's an even stronger signal! 😁
A Eve on 2023-05-11 12:35:39 (UTC)
Now you're thinking!
Xenophanes on 2023-04-29 00:14:14 (UTC)
Also, there's a video game where one of the characters (a woman) has a journal wherein there is this entry:
It's interesting because it's an example of a woman missing the signal of another 😁 And in the game's story, it WAS a signal.
A Eve on 2023-05-11 12:35:24 (UTC)
Oh I know women can be oblivious too!
ArcheoRexo on 2019-08-13 16:18:54 (UTC)
Well i am late to party, as always but i might add i little of my fail as well. Girl A, i for the most part didnt have any idea she was trying to signal to me anything. When i looked at it few years ago i nearly cried couse i laughted so hard. We watched a film together on her bed she asked if would like to go under blanket with her, which i refused as i though she was just being nice, next time she done she left her window open in winter so it was really cold inside, i refused and offered to close the window. On many occasions she started talking about her sex life, her body and what do i think, i answered her honestly with flush face as that was quite hard for me. Once she even started to change her clothes with me in room, she said dont sit at the table. I sat there in front of mirror so i seen her with no problems, as a gent i turned and looked outside a window. I guess that was last straw for her, i was really at love with her at that tiem but she didnt want and relationship.
ArcheoRexo on 2019-08-13 16:30:52 (UTC)
Girl B, well we worked together and due to our restricted income i came with idea of being a roommates. Which we did, in room so tiny that when i turned on my bed i was nearly in her bed :D. I tried to be friendly and respond to weird things with smile and good honest answers. What weird things? Like spending 95% of time in her undergarments, asking if would spread suntan oil on her everywhere, asking when will we go to cinema or to cafe, asking how i like her body, if her tan is nice on her breasts and so on. It only dawned on me when i woke one night due to how loud her moans had become while she pleased herself. I was stuck completely in horror for what felt like eternity till she ended satisfied. I can tell you it was very weird being around her after that. Years before that i had a crush on B but she did the (for me) the worst thing a women can, she didnt refused me nor did we go on the date. She said maybe and left me in limbo for 2 years.
ArcheoRexo on 2019-08-13 16:39:04 (UTC)
Girl C, well that was different after about a month i found out her signals (yes i am so proud that i mangaed that) becouse of anger tantrums of my friend who had a mad crush on C, and was angry that i took her from him (not true but he seen it like that in his rage). It might have dawned on me sooner that she didnt liked my lectures on history nor did she liked that castle that we lived in so much, at least not so much that she would spend like 6 hours a day minumum with me. As well that her hands that were so cold and she liked when i tried to warm them, she looked at that differently than me (i was flush faced couse i was holding girls hands). Or it might have dawned on me earlier when the girl scouts asked us when were we married. Honestly we even read a dictionary while being completly alone in catle ruins while the sun was setting. In the end C even offered that we can have a private time under sheets which i refused. I loved her at that time, but she already had a boyfriend. :(
Johnny88 on 2019-07-12 17:58:24 (UTC) (edited)
Years ago i found the perfect girl. We met at an evening class going 1 or 2 evenings for a cpl of weeks. She was not classicly beautiful, and she knew that, but she was for me. She had a bit fucked up teeth but she worked as a dental technician. She was smaller than me, had glasses, braces, lovely long hair, a slim figure(i could've picked her up with just one arm) and an annoying, screecing, almost childish laugh. In short- she was all of my Turn Ons combined in one cute girl. We sat next to each other from day two and spent every smokebreak talking. We had the same interrests, the same style of humor and liked tatteling about the same ppl. I vaguely senced that sth was going on as the others satarted pointing it out. Bevore it really started the class was over and we all were saying our goodbeyes. We never actually talked about continuing to see each other wich really descouraged me(had i only known how to read her). But i felt like maybe i could call her.
Johnny88 on 2019-07-12 19:20:06 (UTC) (edited)
But how and when? Call after 1-3 days? NO that would be to hasty and make me look needy. A week? Maybe she didnt like me that much and was just beeing nice? After ten days i definately knew that it was too late and it would be wierd if i called now. After two weeks i was back to hating and doubting myself and so i never did. For YEARS i did not even think about how all this must have been to her (mainly bcs i didnt see myself as someone, one could get sad over not being with back then). She probably felt she wasnt pretty enough for me, bcs i never called. The thought of that haunts me to this day. I never talked about this to anyone. What i mean is that this is maybe the most important topic for a lot of men. Not only bcs many of us are blind to hints girls throw at us all the time but we dont ask ANOYONE for advice either. If anyone reading threw this is currently struggeling to call or to act, just do it. Letting chances pass will make both of u feel miserable. Great topic, great vid, great website. THX
A Eve on 2019-07-16 23:14:31 (UTC)
Thank you so much! Experience is a good teacher, but it's so valuable to learn from other people who have been through things in life - thanks for the life lesson! xx
JI1 on 2017-12-23 11:21:05 (UTC)
Increasing observation with your tips will be pretty damn helpful.😎
A Eve on 2018-01-04 20:02:16 (UTC)
Good, I hope so! xox
MattyMatt on 2017-09-20 04:45:37 (UTC)
Okay, I really enjoyed this episode! I saw a lot of myself in my signal-deaf brethren. Thanks for the insight and the laughs!
A Eve on 2017-09-20 12:53:09 (UTC)
haha you're welcome, it was a lot of fun :P
Nejove on 2017-05-07 01:55:36 (UTC)
I'm sure I'm not innocent myself given how much I "miss the forest for the trees" in general when I'm not focusing on something, but even I have to admit that some of those examples of guys missing hints women were sending them were pretty bad. In a few cases I probably would've ended up cringing at my past self every time I recalled the incident for many years to come if it had been me.
I don't really recall any obvious cases like your examples, but, for all I know, maybe I HAVE missed signals from women without ever realizing that there was something I missed numerous times in the past. That may be for the best, though, since I have enough things to cringe at my past self about without it.
About the only thing I can think of is that there was one time my mom and I were at a restaurant and, after the waitress took our order and left, my mom said she thought the waitress seemed romantically interested in me. I responded that she was definitely "bubbly" and friendly, but it didn't seem to be any kind of special reaction to me specifically. Naturally there were none of the blatant signals you mentioned, but most of your examples would've been impossible or inappropriate since she was at work. To this day, I really don't know whether my mom's impression or mine was correct, but part of me does wish I'd had the guts to just ask the waitress directly and settle the matter.
A Eve on 2017-05-07 19:05:39 (UTC)
If your mom (ie a woman) said that another woman was interested, you can believe her :P
Russ311 on 2016-06-16 13:38:45 (UTC)
I experienced the panty one you mentioned I agree I'm a noob but who do I follow up on that ,because she's a free spirit kind of person so I couldn't tell what was happening at the moment now I'm sad
A Eve on 2016-06-17 21:01:16 (UTC)
aww...well now you know what to look out for next time :D
micross on 2016-05-22 00:33:41 (UTC)
So, you see why I wear glasses... blinded to all
A Eve on 2016-05-23 18:35:12 (UTC)
:D was blind, but nowwwwww, I seeeeeee
Hoffman1 on 2016-05-19 02:19:30 (UTC) (edited)
There was a girl, a few years back, who would randomly come over, because her mom was being mean, or she felt like getting out of the house, and this happened over the span of several months, she actually once wanted to change in my bed room and said 'don't peek'. I kid you not. She also took several showers in my house, with the door open....it wasn't that I didn't read the signs, I could read them fine, it was me being afraid that i wasn't going to be good enough for her. She actually did all the things you mentioned, and more. I'm so mad at myself! Grrr!!
A Eve on 2016-05-21 23:09:46 (UTC)
haha well at least now you know!
MadWithLust on 2015-11-28 22:07:52 (UTC)
Whew, I'm relieved. I haven't missed anything that obvious...but I haven't had any opportunities that obvious either... :( A girl stripping down to her panties and snuggling under my blanket sounds so wonderful...
There was this one time I did spend a night in a girl's room. I think I could have sealed the deal but she and I were both virgins and I felt like I would have been pressuring her for sex. But I wonder now if I missed any hints that she wanted me to be her first...oh that would have been so awesome to give ourselves to each other...
A Eve on 2015-11-29 13:33:00 (UTC)
Awww...well don't mistake 'missed signals' for times when it just wasn't 'right' for either of you. That happens too, naturally, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to point out times when even interest was completely missed out on.
leytod on 2015-11-21 23:23:01 (UTC)
Yet another great episode of Under the Covers.
Counterpoint: some of those stories may have been of men who weren't interested in the woman and were feigning ignorance to avoid an awkward situation!
Lots of laughs listening to this. Some sorrow too. I'm reminded of some women whos feelings I likely hurt because of my own emotional thickheadedness. To Cheryl, Dori, Sarah, Anna, Emily and that girl who kissed me on the dancefloor centuries ago: I'm sorry.
I'm married now, so at least I can say I got it right with the most important girl!
A Eve on 2015-11-23 12:36:57 (UTC)
aww, well that's good to hear! :D
Costre on 2015-11-16 21:16:25 (UTC) (edited)
I have a female friend who I believe I have burned all bridges with when it comes to sex. Several things come to mind...
I described my fascination with her body, and her butt, to a friend over messenger. I accidentally sent several of these messages to her messenger window instead! She said she didn't mind and felt rather flattered.
She and I went shopping some months later, and she started looking at tight yoga pants at a clothing store, holding them up in front and behind her and talking about them.
Later on she had her shower and bathroom in her apartment renovated. She asked if she could come to my place and use my shower. She also said she would probably spend the night since I live quite a ways away.
I thought it must be frustrating to not have the proper shower facilities, and obliged.
Later on, I started to add up these things in my head, and felt like a complete moron. I talked to a few friends, male and female, and they said the same thing. She wants to get closer to me!
So then I fucked it all up, by emailing her and explaining my feelings and mixed emotions over her alleged advances... We have hung out a few times since then, but the topic of the email or the whole situation never comes up. I remain clueless :o
BigDaddy on 2015-11-16 03:20:17 (UTC)
#13) If she makes amazing audios where she worships your cock...
Jandrusel on 2015-11-15 21:11:54 (UTC)
Well, this will certainly be useful in the future. I'm not a smart man when it comes to women. Truly, I'm not as anxious and shy as I was during my teenage years, and I can hold conversations with any woman. But when it comes to dating and intimacy, I'm total newbie.
However, I'm not ashamed of my inexperience. That's life how goes; some go slower or faster, but everyone has its own path. As always Eve, you're amazing. These series are really informative and fun to listen. Sometimes, I even prefer them to your sexual audios. That's how much I love them.
Some of these stories on Reddit are really painful to read. Poor guys! Also, from a guy's POV. sometimes it's difficult to approach a woman with dating intentions. Either you don't wanna risk the friendship or you don't want to being noticed as a 'desperate', etc.
Sorry for my ramblings, Eve. Thanks again.
A Eve on 2015-11-16 23:36:49 (UTC)
Aww thank you! Don't worry, I love rambling!
I know it's difficult to approach women, I totally sympathize. Which is why I think guys should focus more of their attention on women who already like you - women who are showing interest in their own way. It takes some of the anxiety away - certainly it's better than going up to a woman 'cold' and hoping you'll charm her. :D