Eve's Guide for Regular Guys: Episode 12 - Money (and Women)

32:39 Eve's Guide For Regular Guys episode 12 / 19 Jul 30, 2017 29 comments 7535 2428

Download (44 MB, MP3)

"Money" is a huge subject, and in this episode I admittedly only barely scratch the surface. I talk a little about it's meaning and value in your life, and how changing the way you think about will improve your experience with it, and your life in general.

"Money and Women" is an even bigger subject, but I've tried to distill it down to some key points for you to think about.

As with everything else I talk about in this series, these discussions are meant to get you thinking about your own values, your own philosophy, and appreciating yourself in your own life. You may disagree with things I say - that's fine, by all means figure things out for yourself.

But I will ask you not to overwhelm the comments section with walls-of-text if you disagree with me. I don't want to get into heavy debates or discussions here - it's turned out badly in the past and I don't want a repeat. Always keep in mind that this, along with every audio I make, is made with the best of intentions.

Here are some links you might find interesting if this subject intrigues you at all:

History of Money video series

Lottery Winners Horror Stories

Money and self esteem - a psychologist’s take on earning money and self esteem

Money, marriage and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Spotting a golddigger

Do You Have a Money Disorder?

Women’s guide to how to tell if a guy is cheap

EDIT - A commenter below brought up a really good point about what to do if you suddenly come into money. I have some suggestions that you can find here if this is your situation.

Other audios in Eve's Guide For Regular Guys


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  • hobidee on 2017-08-06 23:13:01 (UTC)

    I haven't commented in any of your audios in half a year I think, but no worries, still been actively listening and enjoying them. I love this series and under the covers with Eve because you do bring out a lot of good points. About my own experience with money, last year I was working and earning money, mostly saving it. Going to work started to feel really pointless since I rarely bought myself anything big and nice, but those few times I did, it made me feel great because you're turning your hard work into something physical and that way rewarding yourself, finally making yourself see a reason to work hard. Being generous is another thing that makes me feel good. I don't necessarily mean giving away money, but more about giving people your time to help them and make their life a bit easier. I loved your comparison about the egg farmer and the baker, because what money really is, is something we give others that they can use to get exactly what they need, so we don't need to have that exact thing they need. I've pretty much found my own way of regarding money and a lot of people don't probably agree with mine, but that's everyone's own choice. By what you're saying here I could try to think of spending money as spending time I've used to earn that money, but I'll probably never get over looking at the price tag instead of counting how many hours of labour.

    Anyways, gongrats about officially publishing Stay With Me and you are still great at making audios both erotic and non-erotic, thank you for all the time I've got to spend with your voice. You're great :)

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:41:06 (UTC)

      Thank you, I really appreciate it! I think as long as you find some way of coming to terms with money and what it means to you, it doesn't really matter how you look at it.

  • Durgarnkuld on 2017-08-01 16:07:21 (UTC)

    Hmm, I think that's one I have to disagree with your view, Eve. I really can't see money in that way nor do I want to. Not that we instantly have to become communists ^^ But I like that you speak true to yourself and what you believe, not dodging inconvenient topics or stances.

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:41:53 (UTC)

      Thank you, I appreciate it. Money is a sensitive topic for a lot of people, and I'm by no means an expert. I just like encouraging people to think about important things like this for themselves.

  • LTTP216 on 2017-08-01 03:55:51 (UTC)

    When I saw that you were going to talk about this subject, I was a little nervous for you. Not because you can't handle yourself but because this is a huge, complex topic that can be very divisive. You covered a lot of territory in a relatively short amount of time. In addition to offering sound advice you also brought up some good points to think on.

    Personally I love your message about poverty. No one who in a position to read this message is poor. Not really. True poverty is a devastation not an inconvenience.

    This was a brave and necessary episode. All in all you handled it very well.

    P.S. To the young man who came into some money recently, I completely understand. Without going into pages of insight, I'll boil it down to these things:

    1. Don't squander what was given to you.

    2. Never feel guilty about what is yours.

    3. Don't pay people for the privilege of impoverishing yourself.

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:42:15 (UTC)

      Thank you very much, and that's some great advice for that listener!

  • tralfamador on 2017-08-01 02:03:24 (UTC)

    Hi, I've been enjoying this series a lot and was exited for this segment only to be disappointed that it glossed over a certain demographic.

    I am a young guy who has recently inherited a large sum of money via a family member. I was struck by the accuracy of what was said in the beginning of the video. While it is good to have money I am constantly feeling depressed/guilty about it while so many of my peers are struggling just to keep their heads above water. I have decided the best way to channel the money is to travel and volunteer yet my self esteem has still taken a dive and I often find myself feeling useless or unworthy, something people don't seem to understand.

    On the topic of generosity, how much is thoughtful and how much is just self destructive? Sharing the wealth makes me feel better but to a point it just seems that I am throwing it away.

    I'd love to hear some feedback/advice to people in this situation and I thank you for putting so much work into what you do.

    • A Eve on 2017-08-01 08:19:44 (UTC)

      Hi there - thank you, I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with this. Don't be afraid to talk to a professional about these feelings you're having, they are very common in people in your situation. Here are some suggestions I have to help you deal with this in a practical way.

      • tralfamador on 2017-08-02 01:14:05 (UTC)

        Wow, thanks for the quick reply. And the article too, I already have it tucked away and at least I don't feel entitled to it so maybe I have been being too hard on myself.

        Best of luck.

  • MaNameAJeff on 2017-07-31 13:16:51 (UTC)

    "Everything I don't have was stolen from me." The cancerous leftist way of thinking, atleast in here.

    I quit my job about year ago and have been living off of my savings. Could've done some things better, but what I became a lot better at was how to use money more efficiently.

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:43:26 (UTC)

      I think everyone's experience with money changes dramatically when they are right up against it - and it'll be different for everyone. If dwindling savings make you think about how you spend money, then that's what worked for you. For others it might be something else, but as long as something pushes us to give it thought, I think it's a good thing.

  • MoonlightDreamer on 2017-07-31 08:42:15 (UTC)

    Very intresting episode and I admit I never looked at money in a positive light but you make some very good points and it has helped us move past the barter system of old. I grew up in a family where money was always tight and it was a constant struggle for my parents and very limiting in terms of objects and things we can do and I admit I resented how much control money seemed to have over our lifes. Hearing stories of family members who worked all their life and then dropped dead when they retired, made me think how much nice it would be without money getting in the way of enjoying life without it being a chore. Being on Benefits was so hard and embarrassing but needed to live on, which I've had to do because of health problems. It did make me respect money and to look after it more.

    But you make some very good points and in terms of women, I always felt very insecure around women because I didn't have much money for going out to places and treating them and felt I was lesser then my friends who could do those things with their girlfriends. I always felt it was a big hurdle to get close to a woman let alone ask them out. I grant we need money and should always value the time and effort that goes into it. Use it wisely, but enjoy it, help others and live well. Always good advice!

    I still look forward to a Star Trek era though ;)

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:45:48 (UTC)

      I know that how people were brought up has a huge impact on the way they view money. I am the same, my parents were chaotic and out of control with money, and it affected my viewpoint of it. I never felt safe growing up, for one.

      I think the main thing for women is that they feel special going out with you - so it doesn't have to cost anything. You could pack up a picnic for the beach with all her favourite foods, things like that. It doesn't have to be expensive, I think she just wants to feel special.

  • Arcturus on 2017-07-31 01:56:34 (UTC)

    Ah money, must not go on antitrust rant....

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:46:08 (UTC)

      The Sherman Act? Oh boy...

  • Kingdiamondm1 on 2017-07-31 01:06:34 (UTC)

    I agree with being generous to those who truly deserve it. I remember working in the bank in 2002. We had a custom of doing the Secret Santa. Well, we did the Secret Santa for a wonderful charity called the Agency For the Advancement of the Blind and Challenged. We bought the gifts, wrapped them and sent them out. The next week, I was at work and I received a beautiful, touching thank you card from one of the clients, a little girl named Theresa. If you ever wanted to see a grown man cry, you would have seen it that day. So yes, money helps you to help those less fortunate. And to hear someone say "thank you" because you may have lifted their spirit, that is the best feeling in the world!

    • Georgio36 on 2017-07-31 15:54:42 (UTC)

      You are soo right! I like the way you think 😊.

  • billymacorbuddy on 2017-07-31 00:25:37 (UTC)

    It was interesting getting your take on the money issue, Eve. Being self employed you get a perspective that many people don't, but we can all relate to if we really think about. For example, I work in a field where people are constantly attacking me for having a good paying job with good benefits. As though I should feel guilty for being financially secure. What they don't know is that I've worked literally everyday since I was in the 4th grade and I like to think that having a good job is my reward for my efforts from such a young age. (Wow, it's really easy to get passionate about this subject.)

    Anyway, you mentioned giving to charities. There's a website called GiveWell that reviews charities based on how efficiently they spend donations. I've used their recommendations for years and think it's a great way to make sure that your money is going to the cause that you really want it to go to.

    It looks like my link isn't working properly; the address is www.givewell.org if anyone is interested.

    • Georgio36 on 2017-07-31 01:44:06 (UTC) (edited)

      I agree Billy especially about helping out good people rather it's a business or not. If it's on your heart to do it; that's when it's really good. You feel good on the inside knowing you made someone's day. No one has to know you did it either. I know giving back to your church is great place to start too because you can actually see where the money is going. Also here as well! 😊.

  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-07-30 23:20:59 (UTC)

    A great deal of thought and attention has gone into this episode Eve and as you stress,by the conclusion, I am thinking about what I earn,how,and then what I spend it on,differently. This issue certainly does have a bearing on our self-esteem and ultimately on attracting people we seek to have a relationship with. It is a difficult proposition to tackle so I applaud your courage in doing so alone. I cannot offer much in the way of advice but just keeping my head firmly screwed on at work, get through the day and receive your just reward every month is how I go about getting what I need to pay bills, debts etcetera, without trying to think of deeper financial concerns. Striking that balance between ultra frugality and ostentatiousness is not a problem, it comes naturally with the level of pay for me. Scrutinising what I always feel I desire to purchase,how much I really need something is what I'm taking from this episode the most. Especially when you use the example of getting out what you earn per hour and looking at the cost of any article you want to purchase. Got to say in conclusion that it's really great to hear how good you're feeling too, you deserve this for such major efforts over recent months to keep us all on the up and up! Thank you for all you do Eve!

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:46:25 (UTC)

      You're very welcome Lea, hope you're well!

  • Georgio36 on 2017-07-30 22:34:55 (UTC)

    Eve i should have known this topic would come up in this series; as it important for people to learn the value of money and to watch who they spend it on when it comes to relationships and friendships. Money is such a sensitive topic for many people especially when it comes to dating.

    I have heard some women's opinions on it; and honestly i don't mind spoiling a woman i am with. You are paying for fun things to do. I have been situations with women where i would have to do everything. I have no problem doing my part but it's important for a couple meet each other half way. Like if my money is going to something worth while, & i see a future with it; then i don't mind it at all. No one likes to be cheated/used; and im sure everyone likes a good reasonable deal when it comes to shopping.

    I appreciate what you are doing for us here Eve and teaching us about how to be smarter in our decisions. You have many blessings coming your way 🌷. I told myself i didn't want this comment to be long; & yet it became that way lol. Sorry but with you there's soo much a person want to say cuz you make us feel so comfortable. Thanks for all your time 😊

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:48:05 (UTC)

      I know that for a lot of people, mostly men, their experience has been essentially that of an ATM. And that's a real shame - I wish all women would stop seeing men as cash machines and at least meet them half way.

      You can comment as long as you like Geo! :P

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-07-30 21:13:06 (UTC)

    A very, as you say about your favourite audiobooks, digestible episode that is a confirmation by someone I greatly trust of much of the wisdom I've acquired about the role of money in my life. When I was purchasing the parts to build my first computer six years ago, I did think about the cost as two weeks worth of my time and labour. It's still going strong today so I feel really good about this investment. And it was the window through which I discovered you as a positive force in my life and so many others. 😌

    I'm not knowledgeable about the philosophy of economics so all I'll say is that what I like about capitalism is that it treats people like the responsible adults they should be and that, in general, the value that one derives from the system is commensurate with what they put into it, whether it be their time, skills, unique talents, etc.

    I'm a guy and I find cheapness to be a major annoyance in anyone, like the customers at work asking for discounts 'just because' or ranting to my face about how everything I sell is overpriced. 🙄

    I appreciate the tie-in to mindfulness and quality that is an overarching theme of this entire series, and the supplemental links you have sifted out from the informational overload of the Internet for our benefit. Thank you for another awesome episode, and while I might not have enough of it, I feel a lot better about money and its value.🙂

    • Georgio36 on 2017-07-31 02:00:11 (UTC)

      Charlie you are right about Eve 😊. I feel like we all have grown into better people since the first episode of this series. Im happy your investment in computer parts worked out well for you too! Wishing you much success & a great day man 💯

  • Kingdiamondm1 on 2017-07-30 20:08:18 (UTC)

    Wow! Not only beautiful and sexy but brilliant-minded and wise, too. Excellent presentation, Eve. And it helps to put things in perspective. I can relate to your point of making money work for you to have a comfortable life. I totally agree with you 100% about working for what you want. That gives you that sense of pride and accomplishment. As someone told me once when I said I wanted to make millions of dollars one day-why stop at millions? Why not billions? Why not trillions? You go as far as you want to go. BUT the main point is this:what will you do once you get to where you want to be? what is the purpose? What is the goal? How will this change a person who acquires vast resources? What kind of person will they become? What kind of people will they attract? And, of course, for the men what kind of woman do they want and what kind of women will they get? I love the way you put it- there are women who would rather have a simple burger and fries than a $100 filet mignon and champagne for dinner. They would rather live in a studio apt. than a multimillion dollar megamansion if it will let them see the real man behind the moneystacks. The good, caring, compassionate man behind the moneystacks. And a good woman doesn't have to be a size 6 and look like, oh say, Gigi Hadid. A woman can be the quietest so-called Plain Jane and be the most beautiful woman in the world. That heart and that spirit. Sometimes that is the sexiest thing that a woman(and man, for that matter) can exude and all the wealth and beauty cannot even strike the match to light the candle, much less hold the candle. Once again all through this segment nothing but wise insight and perspective. On every subpoint. Beautifully done, Eve.

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:50:26 (UTC)

      That is a great point, one that I've wondered about with people like Trump and others - at what point is enough enough? What on earth could you personally do with billions of dollars, aside from basically giving it away to others who could use it or really need it.

      I definitely don't agree with the relentless pursuit of wealth for it's own sake. I don't like the stock market, for example, or anything that doesn't produce any kind of real value, but just exists on percentages and interest and speculation. I think investing in a company you believe in is worthwhile, but to just buy and sell to shave off a few dollars - well, it's not for me

  • NowhereMan on 2017-07-30 20:06:52 (UTC)

    The timing on this one couldn't be any more relevant. I've kind of gone through a really lousy two months, last month being when my girlfriend broke up with me (for real this time) and then to top it off a couple days ago I lost my job. To say I've felt utterly defeated would be an understatement.

    Also, completely unrelated to the above, but I've noticed a bit of a libertarian streak in you (don't know if that's accurate to your actual political beliefs) and I can't lie, it's kind of sexy.

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 18:52:48 (UTC)

      I hope you're doing better, I know things were rough for you. I wanted to wait to respond to these comments would I could devote some serious time to them.

      I'm a very apolitical person, but I have listened to the platforms of most of the major schools of thought, including Libertarianism. I would say I'm pretty much right in the centre, if I had to pinpoint myself, although I do try my best not to comment on politics. I think it just angers and upsets people, especially these days.