Stay With Me : A Novel by Eve Elliot - Chapter 9 - part two

17:33 Stay With Me: A Novel episode 10 / 31 (part 2 of 2) Mar 14, 2016 10 comments 1067 374

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In the book version, this a long chapter divided into two parts - the first being from her point of view, and the second from his. This is a common technique in romance fiction, so that you get to feel what both of them are experiencing without the amateur-writer mistake of jumping in and out of their heads in the same scene.

So because it was quite long, I recorded this in two parts. This is just part two, after the sex :D - from Erik's perspective


Other audios in Stay With Me: A Novel

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  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-07-23 05:44:19 (UTC)

    After reading these wonderful comments left by those who have gone before, the effectiveness of this divided POV technique in eliciting powerful emotional responses from your readers/listeners is readily apparent. Couple that with the lengthy eight-chapter buildup in narrative tension and investment in the protagonists and you've got a powerful combo here.

    Like many, I felt disgust at Erik's coldly utilitarian sex with Alex in Part One but also some sympathy for his inner turmoil and self-castigation as his behaviour was (partly) vindicated in Part Two. Again, this emotional response was possible because we're initially limited to Alex's perspective (albeit a very perceptive one!)

    Erik regards the women he's banged in the past as a special breed of women, but fails to reckon that Alex is also a special breed of the antipodean, non-garden variety: a woman madly, relentlessly in love who'll stop at nothing to possess him wholly in body, mind, and soul! Good thing thing he wasn't on a regular op; gross underestimation like that tends to have fatal consequences for a soldier. He's either fooling himself or in denial if he thinks his ÄLSKLING Repulsor Grid Mark II (from the pages of the 2027 Ikea Home Security Catalogue) will succeed in driving her away from him.😏

    Great work on Chapter 9, Eve! 😃👌

    • A Eve on 2017-07-23 20:45:42 (UTC)

      Thank you so much, Charlie! That's awesome, the ÄLSKLING Repulsor Grid Mark II (from the pages of the 2027 Ikea Home Security Catalogue) - hahahaha!

      As I've mentioned to many people before, romance novels are very surprising in terms of how gut wrenching they can be. There's real pain and anguish in them, it's not all sunshine and flowers. But I think it makes for a more powerful happy ending when it comes. :)

  • chasseur85 on 2016-10-27 17:10:48 (UTC)

    My favorite chapter thus far. An explanation into Erik’s hesitation and cruelty. I was not familiar with the technique of two parts of the same chapter from different perspectives in romance. It offers a nice pause in the momentum of the story and serves to wind up the tension again before moving forward.

    Speaking of tension, I felt like a giant knot had been tied in my stomach in chapter three ever since Alex had revealed her feelings and been rejected. You did a great job making the reader (Or in this case listener) feel the gut wrenching pain she must have been in. In chapter seven you feel the knot slowly begin to untie only to have it pulled again even tighter.

    Alexandra feels like a complex character despite not knowing too much about her at this point. The contrast of her vulnerability and her tendency to lie to other characters makes her compelling. Granted that her motive for the retreat could be called a lie by omission, I can’t believe how long it takes her to finally admit the truth that Nick wasn’t aware of her intentions! Also trying to kiss him after promising to leave him alone.

    Love your choice of words at key moments: “How do you want me?” (Implying a double meaning) and “This means nothing” (As if in response)

    Truly bittersweet haha

    Finally, I really enjoy Nick’s manner of speaking.

    • A Eve on 2016-10-28 12:11:25 (UTC)

      Thank you so much, I hope you enjoy the rest of the book ❤️

  • STEVE4EVE on 2016-04-15 23:36:19 (UTC)

    I can begin to forgive Eric, now, since he feels this way about the way he treated Alex. But only if he makes it up to her. The pain he is feeling now is not enough. He has to soothe away her pain. And maybe he'll learn that love like hers cannot ever turn to hatred.

    Surrender, buddy. She's got you surrounded :)

    • A Eve on 2016-04-16 11:29:07 (UTC)

      haha oh she sure does!

  • MadWithLust on 2016-03-20 16:50:12 (UTC)

    I wonder if you had help for writing this scene because this is eerily accurate for a man's perspective. I have a knack for falling for women who are already taken and the lines of thought in his brooding are tried-and-true methods of trying to get over unrequited love. A bit unexpected but it really fits the complicated situation he's in, both wanting nothing but her and strangely, at the same time, wanting nothing to do with her.

    However, I've never had these thoughts of unrequited love after a woman threw herself at me and let me have my way with her...

    Oh, and mad bonus points for describing him as driven "half mad by lust"...seems oddly familiar, like a long forgotten secret twin... :P

    • A Eve on 2016-03-20 17:03:55 (UTC)

      Aw thanks MWL - no, I had no help, I just tried to imagine what a good man would feel in that situation.

      :D

  • 1981FireFighter on 2016-03-18 18:38:14 (UTC)

    I liked this chapter. This view from Erik's perspective (well performed, by the way) provides a much more dynamic character.

    • A Eve on 2016-03-18 23:38:15 (UTC)

      Thank you so much! I'll be posting Chapter 10 - their next sexual encounter - in the next few days :D