It's *not* a sex swing, I swear! It's the Ab-dominator! Oh okay, let's fuck!

15:00 humour Feb 17, 2015 6 comments 1272 584

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I know I'm suspended in the doorway from this contraption, I know my legs are spread wide....but it's an abs exerciser I swear! I bought it on eBay! Schwarzenegger's on the box!

It's definitely not a sex swing....

oh, okay....let's fuck :p


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  • williamthetrue99 on 2017-09-07 17:13:44 (UTC)

    This is the funniest sexy I've ever heard! Thank you, Eve, for the humor. And the sexy! In a trademark, slurred guttural: "I'll be back." Yes I will! <3

    • A Eve on 2017-09-07 17:47:20 (UTC)

      haha this is definitely one of my favourite audios ever. I had so much fun with this, I'm glad you liked it!

  • CharlieRomeoLima on 2017-03-19 19:48:13 (UTC) (edited)

    You went ahead and climbed into the Ab-dominator without reading the manual first, didn't you? If you did, then you'd know that on page 127 (yes the instructions are quite comprensive) the caption below the full-colour illustration details a convenient quick-release catch. Oh? You say there wasn't a manual in the box? Better double check the seller's reputation next time!

    Thank you for another titillating audio performance abounding with the playfulness I have grown to love. The addition of the taut ropes SFX adds to the realism (and gives me a strange side fantasy of sex on a suspension bridge - oh the danger! the spectacular view!) Maybe with more sleepytime squishing you will master being loosened up like boneless chicken (haha, that was from one of the Sweet Nothings) and extricate yourself quite easily in future. :P

    P.S. Writing this comment made me think a bit about the safety of buying sex toys online. Here are a couple links I found:

    https://www.dailydot.com/irl/sex-toy-piracy/
    http://blog.redpoints.com/en/counterfeit-adult-toys-pose-a-serious-health-risk

    Yet another of the myriad ways that the negative attitudes and stigmatization towards sex pervading our culture hurts much more than it helps.

    • A Eve on 2017-03-22 15:05:26 (UTC)

      Thank you so much for that, that's a really good point. This audio was just a bit of fun, but in reality you really do have to make sure you get quality toys. 💋

  • gricey81 on 2015-03-11 07:39:33 (UTC)

    I love this recording for its honesty, and reality. This truly sounds like an actual interaction between a loving couple, and that in itself is very sexy. You have a fantastic laugh, and I look forward to hearing more of it, as I slowly make my way through all the other posts I have downloaded. Thankyou for your laugh, sexy voice, and honesty, it is greatly appreciated. ;)

    • A Eve on 2015-03-11 11:33:20 (UTC)

      Awwwww, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! Sex is often portrayed so seriously, but it can and should also be fun and silly and endearing. 💋