Ask Eve - The Porn Episode: Part Two

33:42 Ask Eve Jun 28, 2015 15 comments 5322 946

Download (46 MB, MP3)

Part 2 of the Ask Eve episode on porn...

In this audio I discuss listener questions, such as

  • why is porn so soulless?
  • why so rough and misogynistic?
  • what are so other options to the harsh stuff?
  • erotica vs porn?
  • involving your partner
  • porn addiction/hard core

and much more!

This file was originally uploaded in a truncated form, the last two minutes got cut off. So this is the restored version

Thanks everyone! Keep sending me questions if you have them, for future Ask Eve episodes


Other audios in Ask Eve

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  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-05-11 23:18:43 (UTC)

    It really never entered into my thinking Eve, exactly how a Porn shoot goes and maybe that's so for most guys so top marks for illuminating us. Due to the nature of the Anal sex act I understand the need for the relaxation of certain muscles but It's a sadness that grips me for the ladies involved when they have to use"Poppers", I think they are known as which you mention.What with Brazilian waxing too, life for Ladies in Porn sounds painful! Wise advice on communicating our wants or desires with our partners Eve and thoroughly too. Great to hear you are working on some further Afterglow recordings Eve, look forward to them! Lea.

  • LeaDavenport1968 on 2017-05-11 08:25:01 (UTC)

    Eve, I'm truly amazed by the depth of your knowledge! I just had no idea such aspects of sexual behaviour existed out in the big, wide World! I know you pre warned about the castration parties but truly, are they for real!!! Blown away by how any man can go so far out there just to get a thrill! The video on part one is an excellent idea, perfect for emphasising the true nature of Porn. Some of those photos of shoots, really my heart bleeds for those performers! Eraudica is the way to go for me and I can't compare experiences of Porn with it, Porn isn't even close to satisfying my needs as Eraudica does now. Maybe it's the cliche of the mind beibeing the most erogenous zone of the body. I think that's how it goes! Stamping on a woman? Truly! What's that all about! No, I think GWA hardcore isn't for me either but I may look up Dane Jones. A slightly more personal question but being somewhat confused on the issue I feel I need to ask and its on Anal. Does it fall into that category outside Vanilla? Is it an act for which the enemas are necessary, even in an environment of mutual appreciation and consent? The aspect of Afterglow is really high on my priorities for future recordings so pleaae can you go for ones which include longer periods of this perhaps? I can appreciate it must be hard to do really well but this is what we guys have cone to expect from you, top quality performances and recordings! Thanks Eve. Lea.

    • A Eve on 2017-05-11 11:25:52 (UTC)

      I'm going to discuss anal here, so if you're squeamish about it or uncomfortable, don't read further :)

      I'm not sure how I feel about the whole anal sex issue, I have never experienced it and it doesn't appeal to me, but I don't disapprove. I think, like most things, it could easily be incorporated into a loving, passionate experience between lovers, it doesn't have to be the way it is so often portrayed in porn.

      I do think people need to be aware that there are certain health/safety risks associated with anal sex that you don't get with penis-in-vagina sex (though that has risks too).

      The main thing to realize, and the reason I mentioned enemas, etc is that I wanted to reveal the truth behind the fantasy you see in porn. In porn, anal sex is prepared for very carefully, the performers get Brazilian waxes, they have enemas, and they often take poppers (amyl nitrate) to help loosen up that area. There is a lot of communication and patience involved to make it look like it's so easy to just insert yourself in someone's butt. In real life, it's much more complicated than this, and from what I hear, messier too. You have to be okay with that, and realize that what you will experience will likely be nothing like what you see on film. But if a couple communicates well, has fun, and just treats it like another aspect of their sexuality together, it can certainly be 'vanilla' to my mind.

      And I'm working on a new afterglow audio right now :)

  • SensualSpirit on 2016-09-23 02:37:44 (UTC)

    Thank you Eve. This clarified a lot for me, as well as being a pleasure to listen to.

    I’ve always been puzzled by most porn. It not only makes me worry about myself (Why can’t I fuck like that?), but also about the world in general (Does everybody else out there think sex is soulless and dirty?) I’ll glance at a hundred stories or videos and think “ugh, not that one,” before finding one that seems worth going into, only to find it emotionally mechanical and inauthentic.

    I want to see, feel and hear the friendliness, playfulness, happiness, joy, love, sharing and even transformation that can come with sex and gives it its greatest excitement; the thrill of breaking down barriers to intimacy that comes with every first time; and, at the end, the afterglow. So it was a real eureka moment for me when I found your site.

    I came for sex, but stayed for the love and wisdom.

    • A Eve on 2016-09-24 20:53:45 (UTC)

      Aww, that's so lovely to hear. Just warms my heart, thank you so much! ❤️😘

  • Strife01104 on 2016-01-29 05:20:01 (UTC)

    Just listened to both parts of this subject. Glad I did. So much expectation that is unnecessary concerning real life sex. Thank you Eve for taking the time to make these

    • A Eve on 2016-01-29 20:12:09 (UTC)

      I'm so glad you liked them!

  • Deschain254 on 2015-06-28 19:04:57 (UTC)

    I made a comment about this on the previous upload before it got deleted. It was pretty long though so I'll try to get to the gist of it.

    The flaws of mainstream porn lead me to get into hentai, or erotic comics. For me it makes the line between fantasy and reality much more clear which basically eliminates the worry that I'll take my kinks too far. In addition to that the stories and characters allow me to get more invested in it beyond just a purely sexual experience. Not to mention I don't have to deal with Oscar worthy porn acting, production values, or anything else that kills my immersion in mainstream porn.

    It's certainly not for everyone since they're just drawings, but there are a lot of great artists with different art styles. Some stylized and some more realistic. So that's what I'd recommend if you want something that has a narrative to it. A good artist I'd start with is Yamatogawa.

    And good episode Eve. I'm fairly new around here but I've listened to your stuff in the past and enjoy the incite you bring from the female perspective.

    • A Eve on 2015-06-29 22:09:47 (UTC)

      Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the Yamatogawa suggestion!

  • MadWithLust on 2015-06-28 14:40:17 (UTC)

    A lot of good points as always! I remember that moment, too, discovering my dad's stash of porn, and I remember it being the greatest thing ever! Seeing a woman completely naked, seeing all of her natural, gorgeous beauty, it was so new and exciting and amazing.

    I think you're onto to something with the whole availability in the beginnings of video porn. I think it's still true. I think the reason there isn't as much loving porn is that it is hard to find loving couples and then convincing them to make love on film. And even if you did, there's the whole camera angle thing since they probably are so into each other, they don't really care how photogenic it is.

    Whereas, I think it's much easier to find a young woman who needs some quick cash and a dude who is horny. Similar to prostitutes, they probably meet that day and going through that mechanical process of filming, neither of them really has any emotional connection and it shows.

    And even for me as the viewer, regardless of how loving the porn is, I can feel a little depressed and a little empty because when I'm done and the porn is off, I'm alone and I don't get aftercare like you mentioned. I love collapsing into my lover and cuddling with her afterwards but that doesn't happen with porn.

    • A Eve on 2015-06-29 22:10:07 (UTC)

      Well I aim to change that! :D thanks MWL!

  • Brian on 2015-06-28 14:21:30 (UTC)

    The difference between bare bones porn and something with higher production values, more art is like the difference between fast food and a home cooked meal. One is mass produced and the other is prepared with care. Like a lot of things, you get what you pay for and it pays to shop around. I looked up porn and erotic. Etymologically, erotic is French for something like sexual love. No surprise. But porn is Greek for prostitutes, supposedly. Which is interesting to me, because while I believe prostitution should be legal, I can't imagine myself consulting a prostitute unless she called herself an "escort" :D

    • A Eve on 2015-06-29 22:11:01 (UTC)

      that's an interesting point...how we all seem to need words and names for things...

      And I didn't know porn was from 'prostitutes', that's pretty cool! Thanks!

      • Brian on 2015-06-30 07:59:51 (UTC)

        I like words, except porn. Erotic sounds nicer, no matter how you spell it.

        • A Eve on 2015-07-02 10:09:58 (UTC)

          That's true...;p